TS Donated to Des

Perhaps I should have been more patient and waited for it to sell, but I donated my land to Desmond...he can do whatever he wants with it. My guess is he'll put it on the open market. In times like these, have to take care of the Guvnah...

love to all.

Tele

Why I Am (Mostly) Leaving SL

Or at least taking a long break.....

First, I am amazed no one has made any offer at all for my land in the Cay.

Fact is, my lower back has had trouble for a couple of years and work requires me to sit enough already; spending (nearly all) my free time in SL has been bad for my back and body, and my back flared up very bad about two weeks ago, enough that I finally got an epidural injection of steroids into my spine to see if that helps. So far, too early to say, but I know sitting is not good. It all began with a sports related injury, but at my age (mid 40's now...unbelievably to me) it's easy to have more than one thing wrong with the back. I clearly do.

The combination of SL living and lower back injury has sent my fitness, long a thing I prized, into disarray. It seems like yesterday I was an athlete, and now I have to find something like walking to replace martial arts and weightlifting, or at least for the moment. No matter, I know crouching into the SL hunch, sitting in my chair for hours at a time, has been bad for my body and led to increased pain. So it goes. Mustard gas and roses.

I had a hell of a lot of fun in SL, but was never very good at, as my teenage son says, being a "recreational user." That may be the case now, if I come in for just a few hours a month, but mostly I'm realizing how much bloody time I spent there, removed from my body sensations and the emotional realities of living in RL. As my dear first friend, Lilikoi, put it when I told her I was taking a break: rl is the best life we really have....or something close to that. She is Euro....what a sweet person and one of many I miss already.

For I do have a few very good friends in SL, people I admire and trust, a few at least. And I do not mean to walk away from my committments to protect those I am sworn to protect in world, especially my Ward and the Duchess. It would not take me long to log in and set someone right on their accounts....

Ah, it has been fun to play soldier, Knight, protector, diplomat, lord, warrior...but it has all been nothing but play. It has helped the loneliness I have from working from home about half the time...long days in the mountains home by myself; losing SL there will be very hard. But I have to begin recuperating body and even soul, the latter just a bit.

For while some have suggested to me that SL is like this world, just consciousness residing in forms of pure energy, or that the people we are there are enhancements of our real selves, even those we would really like to be, I do not believe it. Tele was part of who I am, sure, and part of who I would like to be: all the things I list in the last paragraph. But it is much more important that I be the best real me I really can be, and SL has gotten in the way of that. It does not for everyone, and I surely spent too much time there; others have better abilities to balance than I do. But my relationship with my son, the ever evolving, growing, challenging relationship with my spouse, my need to continually find new parts of myself or realize new challenges...these things take a hell of a lot of energy. No experience in SL can compare to an hour on a real sailing ship, or cooking with my family, or even the hard challenges on my job.

Sighs.

I do not have time to go back and reread this or to pretty it up. This tells the tale enough. Tele is not being deleted; he will appear from time to time. But only as my back heals and my heart feels more engaged with the real world around me. God, I had fun. Did I ever! Especially in tournaments and group combats, in talking to friends, in making others feel "safe." I may still do a little of that here and there, but my RL is asking very much of me right now; work, home, parenting....each a full time job. And there my energy has to go.

What a long strange trip into the rabbit hole it has been. How marvelous...even if ill adapted to meshing with my rl. I will miss everyone very much; I already do. I'll try to catch folks from time to time, and I remain a part of the Fina Red and the Household of Loch Avie. But oh, how I will miss Lilikoi, Kalia, Eva, Hotspur, Bryanlion, Harald, Sera, Dia, Torvold...the list is very long. Wish me all well, and pray for me those of you that do; I surely need it. There is one critical difference: one cannot pray for an avatar...one can surely pray for his typist.

Love to all, sincerely. I am not closing this blog down either. Some things may appear here from time to time.

Tele's typist....

Will Take Any Reasonable Offer

Hello friends,

the two times I bought land in the Cay, and it has been a while, 10 L a s.m. was a good, even low, price. I saw many lots go for 12 and 14 a s.m. and more. I myself paid over 15 per s.m. for my first plot. Of course times change....

One of Sir Tele's maxims, out of gratitude for his place in the ORR, was to never make a dime in Caledon. Funny, but true. Nobelesse oblige, all that. Nothing wrong with business in world at all, but that was my position.

It seems land values, like those in real life, have dropped! Since I can't stay in world I am only draining money into tier and using up a nice parcel. Again, it's in the NE corner of Caledon Cay....4096, make an offer; suppose the parcel could be split but you'd have to talk to the Guv about that.

Sir T

Land for Sale in Caledon Cay

I am sad to announce this, and will have to follow up with more details later, but I am selling my home in Caledon Cay....4096, corner lot, a stream runs along half its border separating it from the land a bit....it opens to water on either side, lovely view of Carntaigh.

Looking at 10 L per square meter...a bit more than I paid, but I lost a bit on Octopus Gardens :). If that is too high, would consider lower. I must take a break from second life.

I'll explain that latter part soon, but not till TS sells. It's very, very sad for me. My Ward is well settled in Babbage, and my sister has long since moved out. No need to keep it if I am not even going to be in world much.

IM me if interested, or email at telemachusd@gmail.com

Sir Tele

A Brief Note

Fantastic posts below, H. As I said, I have seen more of your mind in a few blog posts than I ever got in world. Love it.

On the Gorean front: I was released, as I say below, by the lady mercs as soon as I rezzed and headed home. My wife and son were out of town all last weekend...well, the weekend before, and made for some overlong game time, I must admit. I find I hold my own well with the melee weapons, pretty marginal with the bow (these guys, at this level, are mostly gamers who play things I've never heard of like navy seal socom or whatever...many of the shooter games are a lot like the bow in world).

So, mostly been fun, no combat since my last capture for me anyway.

Funniest of all, the First Sword called me in to talk to me...he wanted to promote me to Lt. There is only one other Lt. I know in the City. I told him every reason I would be weak in the role, including my genuine committment to first life. He said there might be a job with less committment I could have, master at arms or something, but in the end, he said he wants me as a Lt.

I am of course very honored, and we are trying it on a trial basis. But before anyone gets too happy, remember some of these guys are just college kids...so of course the fact that I have manners and am generally reasonable and don't have an ass of a temper....well, I have age on them. I have run into one other person there who shares my career....which I don't really want to out more than I already have. He holds a sort of state rank. I think the First likes me cause I am easy to get along with, avoid drama (so far) and do well in the Arena.

What does this all mean? Not much, now that I am sitting in the glow (can one sit in glow) of winning a very long political battle, years long, at work. My motion, finally, was understood and passed. There are at least two other giant battles staring me in the face....but they will unfold over this year; one affects me very directly, the other less so in the short term. So, right now, I'm quite in the real life.

And that's all I have to say: I told the First I could be in world 4 - 6 hours a week....a couple of hours a day when I'm working from home alone really does seem like all I can manage. I don't go in world at all when my wife or son is home, hence I am never on most weekends or evenings. He told me: I think you spend a lot more time here than that. And the last few weeks....he is right. But that's how much time I WANT to spend in world. I love the things one can do there, the fantasy, the living in my own historical novel (for so sl Gor feels) sort of thing; but hey man, sailing, eating, drinking, time with family, the world of nature, reading and writing (two things tragically neglected, beyond what I must do for work, since I found sl) these things matter! More than the keyboard combat, fun as it may be.

Balance....I look for it.

Love to all.

Tele

Further Reflections from Tele Abroad

My love to all who read what was below. I have to give the update, though...as though I have no counter I know friends who do read here.

I had a great talk in world with Dia, and she identified what I was feeling more than anyone: loss. Hurt and anger over the loss of trust in someone I truly cared for. That conversation felt pretty much guardian angel...excellent and well timed.

But to share how the story played out: Vof (the very old friend), after I logged, went back and told the Ubar what he had done. The Ubar had no issue with it, thought it was funny. The white silk girl told me herself she was not offended and was sad he was gone (only worried about getting in trouble). I failed to note one of her groups was Pervs of Gor or Pervs of Sl or something like that...ah, the naive soul that I am. Anyway, she thought Vorfwas quite entertaining. So, no harm done.

And best of all, he wrote to me and apologized for his tone...he did say I need to lighten up, especially when it comes to the bondmaids, and he is right, actually. My values are not shared by all in second life and certainly not all in Gor. I still have much of Caledon in me...But Vof gave a very genuine apology...told me he was "about fifteen beers into a twenty pack," and also getting sick...and I know his rl is very hard right now. It was an apology accepted.

Do I feel completely better? No. But I have to say, I have interacted with this man in voice and in world dozens and dozens of times. I have seen him in many situations, and he has never ever hurt or let me down. So, one out of dozens, and my own self overacting too...both our tempers flared. Right now, things feel pretty good. I consider him Family, long have, hope that I always can.

On the rp note: I was captured in a very well planned raid by a man my City hates; an outlaw, and an ass who comes to collar our women. No man who knows him from my City would disagree with that assessment. There is more history, bad history, with him there than I know. I met him, the first time, when I and another bowman dropped him outside of another City we were defending. I disarmed him, fully legal in the rp, and he was not impressive: "oh yeah, I don't think so..." in short, an ass. When he recovered I just let him run off; I had no intention of capturing him. But our First has also told me he is a killer, and that is a strong word for our First to use. He lured me and another warrior out a couple of weeks ago and this time he dropped me....we were using bows and he went into a small rocky area and drew his sword. I should have gone to spear, lesson learned. Bow against the high speed of the sword in a small area...but that time I had another with me (and then a third came) and he fled.

Yesterday, the day I was captured, he showed up in our safezone (a place people can hang out where combat is not allowed) and I began insulting him pretty much right away, compliments he returned. Then he tried to lure one of our new FW (just freed by her Master....it was very sweet) off into the woods; of course, she did not go, but you all know how protective I can be...I stood just outside the sz and waited. He walked into the wood and began firing; I gave chase with another, we lost him.

But he came back a few hours later, and with a very good plan. Many known outlaws entered our City and began wandering about, distracting warriors, etc. There is a great deal of fighting right now about the rp rules....outlaw groups maintain they cannot be known by their tags, etc., so we just let them walk about, unarmed of course, but still we knew it was a test of whether we would hold to stricter rules and allow them more freedom (rather than just cap them, as we say, on sight).

While I was standing in the gate entrance with another warrior my old buddy came back and began firing his bow at me; hit me with an arrow or two, and I ran out to give chase again, thinking I had backup. Oh, it was rash. The man who followed me is not part of our Red Caste and did not contribute much, but what happened was when I got out just a little ways from the City, two other outlaws, ones I had not met (but one who was very good with her bow) came at me. I made it all the way to within meters of our gate, on the bridge itself, before I went down. They got the other guy, who kind of stood there, and I think even a third who managed to crumple inside the gate itself and close it. Anyway, my nemesis returned, took my bow (but left my spear on me...odd) and bound me. It was legal rp, had to go. He told me he was going to sell me as a thrall, or slave. I have a 3 day cap on collars, and some pretty strict limits in my profile (lots of people do, actually) so I was not sure how things would go. It took him a long time to drag me across something like two Gorean continents, including tp's. I said nothing, though I did admit it was a good plan and well played. In IM, he seemed okay, actually. Though not very deep as a person, I thought. He was quite intent on getting me enslaved.

Anyway, he finally got me to some lady mercs someplace far off, and then tried to sell me. I admired their "lovely boots out of the corner of my eyes." In short, turned on what charm I could...and he bumbled like a fool. Told them I was from Fina...I had the armband on, and they said, and this was a nice moment, that there was no way they were going to buy a Warrior from Fina, that he had best return me to my City for some kind of barter or payment (the most common way these things sort out by far) and that they would not risk angering my City.

That was a proud moment. He kept trying, then blipped. Still not sure if he crashed or logged. I, meanwhile, tied as I was, made charming conversation with the 3 lovely lady mercs...they did not aid me, but they were nice to me too. I had to log for rl or I would have waited my full 30 minutes before I can legally tp out and end the rp....30 mins. no rp, I can just go.

So, when I "wake up" Wed. or Fri. (and this is one helluva busy week for me rl) I will be in that same spot. He has not written me any IM's, though he friended me when he captured me (not uncommon for convenience sake) and I plan to log in when I can, wait my 30, and then go home...unless something transpires with someone where I am. If he is on, he can come get me and try to find another buyer.

This is indeed dark, in a sense. There are many people who treat captives well in sl Gor, my own City among them! There are groups that torture and mutilate freely, though I do not allow any permanent damage in my rp limits and I disparage torture (and no sex rp of any kind...so forget rape rp at all). Point is, whatever happens, I will eventually make it back to Fina and give my report.

And decide what to do about this person. He may be better with the bow than I; I am still pretty weak, hard to say. I know he has a quick sword, but I am very strong with the melee weapons and could just call him out. Likely...I will get my chance one way or the other...

Grins.

Am I enjoying this? So far, yeah, it's been fun. He can call me "boy" all he wants and I can see quickly into his honorless heart as can others. And my City, well...if anything very bad happens to me....there are people there with less decorum than I. They already hate this guy. Best of luck to him. If I do catch him and down him again, I am rping a kill. That I know. Usually that means the victim can't log in for 24 hours; who knows what rule he keeps or will keep; actual kills not common. But I am going to axe-golf his fucking head to Odin once he is down in the bubble. Whatever rules that involves (often 30 whole minutes of rp first) I will find a way to keep.

Is all this going to change me as a person?

Another good question. When I first entered Gor I looked at it, in part, as my own Stanford Prison Experiment. Would I begin to treat the "property" differently? You know, I have not. I wink and charm and talk to them, and look out for them, as much as ever. Holding a vendetta in a cartoon world though? Who knows. Maybe tomorrow I won't even care.

What is most interesting to me is that I learned a valuable lesson: it was a well played ambush involving one very good bow fighter. I went too far from the City and was outnumbered. I went with a guy as backup who could not really back up. These are all things that are interesting to know. Last time, when he downed me in the mountains as we went my bow to his sword, I told my rescuers I was ashamed. They said, no, he had a fast sword, you should have drawn your spear first...the actual quote was "lesson in steel learned." Yesterday, I learned another, or more than one, and I have to admit the experienced guys are very careful going off like that. More likely, they'll take a City wall and snipe back, very much safely inside, or go out in good numbers.

"Lesson in steel learned." Part of me finds that quite cute.

I now realize I have done it again on this blog: created a small cliffhanger. Tele is bound in the sands of Aria...what will happen next? Heck, even I don't know. But I will try and update all when I am returned to full freedom. Again, 3 days maximum collar, got that from a lot of other people's rp limits...not sure how that plays out. At most, for me, that is log ins, on 3 seperate days, for whatever comfortable amount of time I have to play.

The thing is, captives are almost always traded back, or somehow word will reach my City and I will be traded. Everyone understands almost no one is going to allow a permanent collar unless they want one. This is, after all, second life; the point is for the rp to be fun.

Will let you know how all of it plays out.

Love to all.

Reaching Out, Sorting Out

First, let me say I am always astounded when I come back to this blog and see comments. My thanks to those who posted below. And my apologies for bringing up the old business with Hotspur, and for suggesting that I would have handled things with less decorum, or whatever I said.

Would I have? The one time I was a second in actual dual negotiations (and Caledon really does not duel, one famous haiku example as the exception)....I was new to Caledon, and though there had been hurts and history on both sides of the conflict that I did know, I did all I could in my power, working with Major Margulis (at the time) to achieve resolution without conflict. This is the role of seconds until the Field is taken anyway; the issue came to apologies and all was well.

And H is right in his post. What greater good would be served? The actual history of duelling, especially the deadly duels (pistols did not help) is one of utter idiocy; a man with a mind no less extraordinary than Alexander Hamilton (though he and I would not agree on everything, he was brilliant and deeply influential to our democracy nonetheless) was laid out and left behind his widow over his god damned "Honor," the word he himself used in the letter he wrote his wife before the match.

And not to get heavy on anybody here, but how can Tele, and his typist, claim to be a Christian (though of the liberal variety....as in pro gay marriage, "low" view of scripture, Episcopalian, orthopraxy over orthodoxy type) and not forgive his enemies when it is possible?

Oh, before I forget, my apologies to the Merry Widows....I made an appt. with them which I still do not remember making (though I would not doubt my Ward at all in this regard). The nature of the appt? Chuckles. Let us keep that a mystery.

I need to talk about an incident last night, and while I have removed this blog from my in world profile, my full avatar name is here and any know who me in world can google it in a blip. (I don't think one would get many other hits with the name my avatar has...) So, I approach this very carefully. But I am home alone all weekend, my wife and son out of town...and I need to talk. And while I may not be active in Caledon currently, I damn sure know where to go when I need to reach out and talk like this: my Caledon (past or present) blog audience. My Gorean friends may find this blog, but I know no one there well enough to sort this out with...and I trust the general collective consciousness of the Realm of the Rose, if that makes any sense.

Oh, I am very sad. Sad and I must be careful of "outing" information here I should not. A few of you will know who I am talking about. Most won't, though.

I have an Very Old Friend, let us call him vof; one of the very first I met in sl, and one who was very close to me in my old Gorean sim. He is surely in the top three or four people in sl I actually and truly care about in rl too. Even when we do not interact much, I simply love him and think he is a fantastic role player. He has had difficulties in his rl lately which I will not discuss, and with is PC, and we have not been in world much. But last night, very late, he came to visit me in my new City.

And he came in full Gorean mood.

There are many pieces to Gor, and it must be remembered the role play in sl, anything that goes by the name Gor, is drawn from a series of hack sci fi novels by a professor who was playing with a number of themes (I say this, having read all of two of the books, with effort). But one theme, surely, is dominance, male over female, male over male...in the real world that occurs all the time; in the workplace, in sports, not uncommonly in the bedroom (the woman's hands held down during sex from time to time, with her consent....the same woman who during the day might be anything but submissive....Gor is about that kind of male/female submission; not the kind we see in fundamental Christianity, say).

In general, I find such sexual domination and subordination likely harmless for most. For some, these themes define their sexual lives, and I have no comment to make on that. I do not know enough about it.

The other thing I would like my (gentle) readers to keep in mind is the kind of dominance activity we see in dogs, or in the wild, with wolves. Put sexual submission and that kind of alpha dog behavior together, and you have a feeling for what is most of Gor.

The funny thing is, I'm not really into either of those things, in world or out? What am I doing in Gor? Finding Brotherhood, combat, and fun role play which for me remains sex free. Does that make me less Gorean? Sure. Do I care. Nope. Not unless I am criticized or asked to leave my City for it, which has never happened; at which point I would point out to whatever avatar was criticizing me that I remain chaste in world because I have an ACTUAL WIFE WHO LOVES ME in the fucking real world, and if you cannot support that over role play in the cartoon zone, you can fuck off, and in that role play, Odin help you if I lay you out then. No, everyone in my new City has been cool on this issue. They promoted me too damned fast, I think from reading my profile, which means I owe the Duchess another favor...my knighthood status elsewhere may have had impact there; who knows.

Okay, enough of that.

Now, I was also promoted quickly because I know the melee weapons well: spear and blade and above all axe. Especially in an arena setting. For let me tell you, in the open woods, with multiple fighters, and weapons switching from bow to blade and everyone running like mad and numbers often uneven...it ain't the arena anymore.

So, back to my narrative (sorry for the Moby Dick type excursion)...last night my vof, someone whose heart I truly love, someone whom I have spoken to in actual voice a number of times, showed up at my City. And he in full alpha male motif....different than I had seen him before. In short, our Ubar, or King, was there and while vof and I sparred in the Arena (and I adjusted to his style again, and began to beat him and not just get beat) my Ubar, impressed, asked if I would step out so he could spar with the vof. Sure, I said. With the Ubar was a girl under his care, a slave or bond maid, who he explained to my friend right off when he asked about girls was white silk, or virginal and not sexually available. I do not know this girl, I have never hung out with the Ubar before he is so far above me in rank, and I do not and did not know if she, like me, had merely chosen that state for her rp or is merely "in training" awaiting her first experience. So, while I was in the Arena with somebody else (not from my City, but an ally) I could hear Vof kind of rankling with the Ubar about her; nothing serious, but the Ubar was making himself clear. I, of course, had introduced Vof in the utterly highest possible terms. And this was not some City he and I wandered into in sl Gor; this is now my City (one another member of my prior sim, one I did not know well, completely insulted in IM when he asked me to join another Northern sim....Fuck Fina is what he said....I drew the line quickly with that man; he was the First Axe, but in the one tourney I fought in there, he fell to mine).

Anyway, so I held my ground well with Vof. The Ubar, unused to axe and walking combat (as opposed to running) did not do as well, though he took him down once or twice, fact is, Vof was smoking him pretty good. And when I went into the Arena with another man present, an ally of my City but not a City member, again, a man I know can take me down with a bow in the woods, I man I have fought side by side with against outlaws in the forest (and watched us be the last two standing....it was not my bow that did so well there, I assure all, for I suck at bow) I beat him with the spear handily. The really ranked fighters of my City were not there, the First, the Second, the Lt.

Anyway, everyone was quite impressed with Vof, as fighter but also as role player. He was different, and I think that is because of what is going on in his rl which I will not say anything about here. But he was absolutely dominating, like an animal, this entire group; subtly, saying little, but it was simply happening. When one of the men took out a horn helmet, similar to his, he stepped over and stood right in the (by comparison) puny man's face and began to ask him about the North. All the while in this wonderful Northern accent he has invented. It was funny, and I was okay with all so far. But when he walked over to the white silk girl, the one wearing the Ubar's own name in her tag, and rp'd pushing her legs apart (white silk girls kneel with their legs together in what is called "tower," while red silk (sexually available girls, and that can be restricted to one lover or to the whole world, whatever the girl wants) sit with their legs wide apart, in nadu. That nadu pose is important in the novels as it allows the men to see...well, okay, this is a Caledon blog but you get the idea.

Anyway, he tried to push her legs apart so he could "see" her better. I was standing right there. He even said something about, now that the Ubar is distracted....but clearly in his hearing. It came damned close to a combat challenge to the Ubar himself, and I was standing there, a sworn Guard of the City, even to me. I can say if any other non-Finian had attempted such a thing, I would have stepped in immediately and demanded he cease; if he did not, I would have drawn down on him right then. It is, frankly, my job. And again, being honest, I did not know if the girl was rejecting sexual rp in world as I do, or simply waiting to be "opened." But those who know me begin to understand how intense this became for me, and how quickly.

I went into IM and told the girl to keep her legs together, as the Ubar has commanded her. And then my Vof goes into IM and tells me he does not think much of my City, its Ubar, its Warriors, or its girls. He insults the south, as I recall, something I get sick of hearing from Northern men I consider my friends. In short, while Vof respects me and my "Steel," he did not think much of the Ubar and was pushing that point.

Now, the funny thing is, the girl said she was okay to me in IM. And when right after this, when I began to talk back to him in IM and he simply poofed, she actually wrote me and said...awwww, I was hoping for some actual rp. Sighs. So, apparently, she was in fact charmed or at least okay with my friend the alpha wolf. I, however, was not okay with the insult to my Ubar, nor to my City, nor, by default, to me.

So I tp'd home to Caledon and we went into it in the IM. And it fucking sucked. It sucked. I mean it hurt. I heard all about him finding his Inner Jarl, about how dominance of the female by the male is the natural order, etc. Again, I think these points are accentuated by difficult circumstances in his rl at the moment, but I was not really impressed at the time. He even cited a past instance of a rl lover whose submission he "saw;" I had to remind him that relationship has ended. Anway, it got the point where he did not actually call me out, but he said he was ready to fight me over this, that he was pissed and ready for a good fight.

Oh, that hurt like shit.

And so I did the best thing I could: I got out of rp mode. I called him by his rl name. I reminded him I had never spoken an unkind to him or to anyone about him. And that if he feels like a fight, I can give him a list of names of rp assholes I have run into already (none who live in my City). Why fight his Salt Brother (the highest bond in the North)?

That, finally, after too many very bad minutes, did the trick. Stepping out of the rp and telling him how much I cared about him. The man who one minute earlier was ready to face me, right then, on any ground in a fight to the death (and in Gor, we could have done it in a blink, right in that arena...and if he had lost, there would have been consequences; if he had won, the men of my City would likely have hunted him down and hung his hide from the City wall...sorry, but that is must my guess). That man who was raging pissed and ready to fight me suddenly tells me he loves me. And I told him I loved him, and have always said so.

So, it ended then, too late, 3 a.m. my time, far from resolved, but done for the time being. I do not expect to see him in my City anytime soon, though I would like to see him spar some of the better fighters just to prove the point...an ethic, a rule which uses skill with force to achieve what one desires (Steel is the currency of the Warrior and with it he purchases what he wishes....from the novels) will eventually lead to going up against one who is better than you are, or against more than one...and you will lose. No one wins every time. He would in fact admit this, I think, and accept his defeat. But he truly believes he has gone complete Gorean now, at the core of who he is...and I do not know what lies in our future as friends. We have not yet spoken about any of this since then and I have not been in world. This post (hence the reaching out) is my attempt to sort out my own head and feelings before I go back into the world of notecards and open chat.

Then, concluding, all see why I feel bad about what I said in the post below. What do challenges among actual friends solve in rp? Nothing. Now, against an aggressive enemy in the rp, that is different.

But the fact is I like my new City, I have fun there, I have met what I think are great guys (and a number of whom can lay me out most times, and Vof and I fought about even last night) and the fact is Fina, and my continent in general, is considered not Gorean enough by many, or, the famous phrase, Disney Gor, because we allow rp with women avatars (panthers, even, oh holy shock, female outlaws). The novels are in fact not consistent about armed women (I only know this because of the constant arguments one hears about this, where texts from the books are used) in whether Gorean women are simply "weak as 12 year old boys" or in fact do show up as armed outlaws and fighters in spots in the novels. And in the two books I read, there is a constant tug in the text between what is Gor and what Gor should ethically be, what the protagonist, one from Earth, thinks about all the violence and sexual slavery around him. Slavery which is sometimes loving, sometimes merely brutal. Fact is, Norman does not have the talent to provide a consistent vision regarding such complicated themes, imho. Fact is, the Warrior code in the books is fantasy-embraced by men and boys, most of whom will never fight anyone in the real world and know the real terror and actual result of violence (I said most, not all); and the dominance sexual scenes were written for fantasy sexual stimulation, and I would wager, mostly result in readers dominating nothing but their own weenies for some fun self release (and hey, I'm a guy here...I know how it is to be a guy, especially a young guy). To try to embrace the Gor model as an actual rule of life....no one does that even though many claim to be rl Gorean. I hear that all the time...I am Gorean! the real deal! Both worlds? Oh yeah? I do not think so. There are guys in fact living something close to that. But they're not reading Norman. They are warlords in fucking Afghanistan, killing and raping at will. Etc.

But I cannot say how much the events of last night hurt! I have cried over them. I woke up this morning hurting. It may be he and I can exchange apologies and move on. I have to admit, what he was doing was in fact very "Gorean." And when I told him I would have had to step in and defend the girl, he admitted that was true. He never insulted me personally. But he insulted my Ubar and City, etc., and I found that very painful. Oh, when I told him that I was hurt, that turned the conversation too. He did not mean to hurt me, he said.

Shit.

I do not sleep well when my rl is out of town, and I am tired now. Two nights in world way too late, way too late, and I have much to do this weekend anyway. I may go back in world today, don't know. Likely, some, I will.

So, there it is my friends. I think I kept confidences as best I could and told my side of the story; used "I statements" as they say in therapy. I think this guy is a great guy; I think playing alpha male with human men has some benefits and can surely be fun in world (I do not think I was ever good at it rl though I did a lot of martial arts, and it actually made it hard for me to date, I think....but then I was afraid of women to boot) but alpha wolf style can only go so far! Most women want a guy who is strong but also sensitive. Who makes them feel protected, but also is tender and controls his temper. Whatever. I don't know what they want. I continue to try to figure out what my wife, and we have been together a dozen years, wants and needs via my own thick headed skull.

One thing I do know she would want is my own chastity in world. Even just a cartoon world. And that is why I keep to it, even though that fact now seems known all over my sim...that part of my profile has been read, anyway.

My love to all. Including Vof who does not read this blog or have this link (to my knowledge, but hey, this is the internet). Perhaps I simply over reacted. Am not Gorean enough myself. I have never pretended to be anything but whom I am.

I will note, I have seen my Ubar go out and challenge an outlaw to single combat, a man whose skill he did not know, when he had a half dozen warriors who would have backed him up (he beat the man down until he fled with low meter). He is a strong leader, in my opinion, and I have seen him be just as Gorean as my friend in his way. A dangerous and bloody man to cross. But the last thing I wanted was a Friend I invited to visit getting into that kind of mayhem with an Ubar I barely know but am sworn to fight for. Vof can play alpha wolf anyplace he wishes, but not in my sim. And truth is, had it come to that, I do not think it would have gone well for Vof in the long run; he underestimates the Warriors of my City. Violence, as MLK notes, always begets violence. Even if conflict accelerated to a challenge and Vof had won (and he might well have, but I cannot say; at that point, it would have been a quite different kind of fight...and Vof might himself had backed down when the Ubar stood up for the girl) it would have been an outrage. I might myself have taken the field against Vof, a man I consider Brother over all others in Gor. There were other men present who would likely have dropped him with bows after he took down the Ubar. And if that did not happen, his little Northern sim, for all their pride, might well have been raided by a large force who does raiding combat and raid defense every single day. What a bloody, bloody, mess. I could no longer have spoken up for him as Brother to my own fellow Finians. It would have been between my new City and him....you see, what he was doing was not thought through in its impact to me.

Course, I cannot read the Ubar's mind; he might have found the whole thing funny or simply great rp and rolled with it, not seeing what Vof was doing as an insult at all, but simply the correct Gorean male thing to do.

Human beings are at some level sexual animals, and dominance may be attractive in various ways, but we are also rational animals, in my view also spiritual animals, and those two things completely change how we must manage our animal selves (for that part surely persists in us all).

Well, I have made similar mistakes myself.

This goes out, as the last, unedited and as is. Sorry, but as an English guy, have to do the disclaimer.

Further Thoughts on Gor, etc.

First, I am sorry, Hotspur you have felt the bloom has come off the Rose in Caledon; I know at least part of why you feel this way H; I saw just some of the posts (you yourself never spoke to me about it ) and well, if it were me, I would have handled things with a lot less decorum. Sorry if that pisses anyone off, but there it is.

As for spellfire, it uses an ejected damage prim. You MUST hit CTRL N to see the prim (CRTL ALT T works but is confusing as hell). Then, somehow, those who know sf well know how to dodge the ejected prim. What my good friend Jot Zenovka (a master who kicks my ass every time) can do is somehow use what she calls "Evasion" or some such thing....she can dodge the prim with some very subtle movements. In short, none of my Gorean training helps me much; I can be swinging right at her and missing while she is nailing me. I don't like SF, but after sparring with her yesterday, I have more respect for those who use it and am considering taking it up more deeply myself. I still give Imrath Tir a thumbs up; great group of people, good rp, very tolerant place.

Things in Fina are going fine, so far (grins at the pun). The Men have been cool to me, everyone has, really, even though I have no idea how to do even the most basic of things that rp sims do. Tland was all about the Arena....when rp enters the mix, it gets very, very complicated. I have never used a chain and collar, or bound a captive, etc. The list goes on for a long ways. Also, I have not been captured, and that day may prove tricky because of my rp limits. The captives I have been given charge of guarding I have treated well...and in my usual chaste manner, which I think has disappointed one or two (okay, maybe Tele overflatters self).

I did see an execution the other day...the girl was a panther, a fighter, a captive, and was doing everything she could to get her captor to kill her, frankly, including head butt his groin. She didn't want to hang around as a captive any longer (and I understand her sentiment). But there are all these bizarre rules....killing someone must take at least five lines of text, for one. That way you can't just say: "you're dead!" So you have to drama it up. And the Warrior did: something about severing both carotids and the windpipe...a quick death, a merciful death actually (he could have crucified or impaled her or some such thing) but just seeing that in writing really chilled me. I don't know how I would have handled it. I know it's avatar role play, but anyway, point made.

Otherwise, the guys are amazing fighters. I was considered tough in Torvic, one of the very best, I'm a medium fish in Fina. And to answer Hotspur's question, I think you could come spar in the Arena H...you could certainly wear an observer tag and explore. I could introduce you as my friend, if you wished. Fina is large, complex, hierarchical, and deep, deep in rp. Very unlike the old Tland. I am just the new guy whom everyone says has such nice manners! Hah! I do have to say, Tland had a much better Arena system....the same one in the Cay. But they do have a free sword in Fina and I think they welcome visitors who are respectful of their customs. But of course they are paranoid; we have to be! Scouts, spies, assassins....they come daily. Daily. The City is raided often by people who do very awful things to their captives, sometimes.

Anyway, that's it for now. I hope to do a bit more fantasy rp as Jot teaches me the way SF works...I think I can do a bit of both worlds. I still love my home in Caledon (my third world); it is amazing, really, but have no idea what to do with it and am still not sure if the pirate thing will get off the ground (of course, I could hold a tourney in the Loch anyway....and people would come...why haven't I thought of that). Perhaps when the weather cools I will want to stroll as a gentleman again and flirt with the Ladies.

Well, must go. This is speedblog. Thanks to all for reading. My love to each. And I still miss many I used to see more in Caledon: Vid, Dia, H, Eva, Sera...a longer list. Be well. Safe paths. Odin be near. All that.

Tele

Hello to Dear Friends....and Tele is Back in Gor

I ignore this blog so much I did not even think to check for comments, and there were four on the last post alone! My sincere thanks to all who post here...as rarely as I post myself, I am quite pleased anyone reads this at all.

And while I am in world less (clearing my "defensible space" around my mountain house...lots of cutting and hauling, etc.) I have in fact rejoined a Gorean sim. My return to sl Gor has rather an odd twist: after much cajoling and very kind suggesting (begging) on the part of Cinde Fate, I found myself joined to Torvic Pass, a Gorean sim risen out of most of the population of my original sim, Torvaldsland.

I had mixed feelings about joining; partly because I had left Tland, mostly because I didn't think I'd ever rp in Gor again. But as I became more and more disappointed with spellfire, the meter system used in Imrath Tir, the fantasy sim I roleplayed in (and what wonderful people and values are represented there)....I mean, I really, really hate spellfire. It works by ejecting a rectangular shaped damage prim from the center of your av, no matter your weapon. So axe fighting or sword fighting is really just throwing bricks at people. Some people, some very skilled fighters, like it, but I found I was not one.

And so, back to Torvic Pass for my combat rp (as we still have not managed to get this off the ground in Caledon, and I have always been reticent to inject such a large change to the Caledonian System (CalSys for short) I started hanging out with my old friends in Torvic. Mostly, Torvold/Brutis. The sim was trying to go into full combat rp, unlike my other Gorean sim which only did tourneys, and I was curious.

Enter drama. Enter money. Exit sim.

The week I joined half the sim left over what I still consider to be insufficient reasons as far as I know them (and much I do not know). But I saw how some of them left, and was not much impressed. Then about four weeks later they simply announced that TP was closing: they had bought two sims (I don't know why, when they could barely float one) and the tier was not manageable even with the few of us about kicking in a little. I packed up my things, and wondered what to do next.

As before, a few of those who had left had joined another sim; one of the Free Women there was and is starting her own, but these were not my old friends, these were people I barely knew who had walked away from my old friends (some of them I have known since my rubber hair days). That option was quickly ruled out. Then I remembered how well Cornelius Tal had handled himself at the Relay for Life last year....walking out in front of all those strangers and announcing his name and cause...I was impressed. I saw he had some assocations with a sim called Fina. And also a man I met once in Tland long ago who was very good with the old Laura sword, Jake Molinaro. Here, I thought, are two guys I like (I also looked up Blue Conovor) and two of them say they are connected to Fina. I check the Map, see that Fina is part of an entire Continent, in full role play (with a continent full of enemies and allies, surely) talked to Jake and signed up that night.

I even entered their Tourney Saturday, using their own scripted sword (went out in the first round, lost, won, and then lost, but to a very good fighter...think I did pretty well). Overall, this seems like a good group of people. Am I fully Gorean, or do I embrace all of Gor? No, and I said so on my application. Meaning, I desire no bondmaid or slave and will own no one; also, I still rp chaste regardless (the first time panthers catch me, and they are known for rape, we will see how that plays out, but I will not budge on that rule).

Have I seen cruelty? So far, just once, with a captured outlaw who probably was not the one we were looking for...but then we just threw him off the bridge to drown. The first time I see somebody's av impaled or some other such thing, a true Enemy of the City, well, that may be difficult.

But I remind myself we are talking about avatars here, everyone there knows the score, and I'll take it one day at a time.

However, I get a chance to train with some of the best fighters I have met in all of sl, using the best weapons I know in sl. And there is something very clear cut about sl Gor: each Man really is Ubar (or King) in his circle of Steel; my skill with the Blade sets my limits. The only sad thing is that, as in most all of sl Gor, the bow is the preferred weapon for combat (simply because you can run and shoot and it's hard to hit someone with a bow with an axe, say). That, to me, is a great loss. There should be much stronger restrictions about bow use in place; that was something Aragon had right in Torvic. In time, maybe.

But for now, I'm surrounded by guys who are mostly better with the blade than I am. And there is a sense of Honor, and Brotherhood, and stark Reality to sl Gor that I missed during my time away. Honor really is sacred.

The books, you know, were meant as a fantasy excursion into exploration of Honor in that sense, and as sexual fantasy material for those who enjoy a little "forced" fantasy. I have only read two; that was enough (I hope I am not asked to read more for they are not very good and I cannot detach myself from scenes where captured women, one day crying for their homeland, become multi-orgasmic when stimulated by their captors). I did not live in the world of the Iliad. I do not know what Briseis' experience truly would have been (Achilles' famous slave, taken by Agamemnon). But I do not think it would have been that. Actual slavery, the taking of human beings as property in warfare, can never have been good for the human soul...on either side (and Frederick Douglass' remarkable narrative comes to mind on this point). But as I said, that is not my interest in sl Gor. Their sense of loyalty to the Homestone, of Brotherhood, of Honor, their constant honing of combat skills...even the decorum of the Free Women and the silly flattering of the bondmaids....well, all that is rather charming for an hour or two on a free summer morning. The thrill of being in actual combat rp is quite real, at least so far. I am sure all who read know what I think of actual war, war in real life...a thing of absolute last resort. Likewise cruelty in any form. I find none of it romantic. I find nationalism, even patriotism, must be embraced with a constant critical eye towards individual human rights; no government is worth praise that denies these.

And so, in sl Gor, I get fantasy...which is what second life is really about. People read Lord of the Rings with almost religious fervor (including me) for a spate of reasons; but one of them surely is the clear black and white....orcs can be killed all day, aggression released, without worrying about the feelings of the orc, or its family or friends left behind. They are just evil. Some part of human nature yearns for that kind of moral clarity, as a part of us (at least most men, and some women) crave release for the aggressive instincts which in some cases, now and in our long evolutionary history, have kept us alive!

Sl Gor is not Tolkien. Indeed, some of the Tolkienish sims can be a little, oh, what is the word: airy. No, sl Gor is quite down to earth, and so far at least, I can put up with what I do not like for that part which I do like.

I will also note (for any who have read tis meandering and unedited post this far) that actual Pirates are forming in Caledon, under Dirk Schwarz at least. He and I have discussed various meters. With the help of a couple of void sims (we truly cannot raid Vic City, or some such) I think a couple of Pirate bands could well form (perhaps one could insist they have letters of marque....call themselves the Privateers of Caledon..grins) and actual rp combat may well begin. Many have expressed interest in learning weapons and using them. To me and to others. Do not hold yourselves back! Go to Harbinger's, get a few things to fight with, and talk to Mr. Schwarz or myself about metering systems....they are all free and we have several choices. If this kind of activity begins, my interest in Caledon may rekindle. I know many lovely people there, but I am just not much of a tea and crumpet guy, and my schedule makes it hard for me to make the balls, etc., which I find fun but emotionally exhausting.

Well, regardless, I still live in Caledon (for now, at least). My associations there remain. But Adventure is a good thing, and for the moment I am finding it in Fina, a wonderfully built and highly trafficked City with lots of action. I cannot predict the future. What I do know is that I have made real friends other places, Caledon included, and miss them.

Any who are interested in the Pirate thing, contact me, Dirk, Elle, Vid, maybe Dia (her Grace)...I know there are others! The idea of fighting (ah, losing time to time) is scary at first, but really, it is all good fun.

Lastly, I am surprised how many Caledonians I run into in Gor....you know, in the IM all of a sudden..."oh, you are Sir Tele...I've heard of you," "nice to meet you Miss so and so" when a moment before it was all Tal, little one....etc. Chuckles.

Anyway, must go. More housework and yardwork to do than I care to say. My sincere, sincere, love to all. Caledon remains my port in any real storm.

Tele

Grid's Out for Summer (and very OOC)

Even though I have finally been contacted by a few Caledonians who want to actually do combat rp (and have got their weapons, ready to go)....to add these two to the likes of Dia and Elle, Vid and Ras, whom I know would at least try it, I find myself with less time than ever for second life. Or maybe I am making that choice, at least for the time being.

Torvic Pass, the Gorean sim I joined (and I was going to do a whole post on that) is struggling, and like many small rp sims, needs avatar bodies on the ground to recruit, etc. Likewise in Imrath Tir, though they have a much longer established role play community (and wonderful folks in both sims). Even with all these opportunities to do what I like to do best in sl: combat...and even with my new computer, which allows me to pursue tourneys, etc., I simply find the activities of summer pulling me away.

Sailing, for one. And lots of housework and projects around the house as we adjust to my wife having finishing grad school and now, for the first time, working full time and even more than. As a teacher, I have summers "off," but don't let that fool you :) I am teaching summer class but every day presents projects and housework and errands to run...some days I feel like Samantha on Bewitched (except she was so much hotter) welcome home honey, here is your martini, dinner is ready, what can I get you?

As my reader/friends can sense, a tough role for someone used to being in control in the classroom and also used to being a vision-builder on my campus (and that is swinging into high gear again...this year will be very dynamic, too much so). My son will, in theory anyway, go to college in two years and I treasure (generally) time with him. The weather is great. I can officially skipper larger sailboats on the Bay, and I live in an area with lots of pretty things to see and do. Somehow, second life, though I have real friends there, is simply paling in comparison.

There was a time I was quite hooked (and that time may come again, chuckles). If I had free time, I fired up sl and went in world. It was reading Snowcrash, again, this spring that a line stood out to me, Juanita's line: (and I paraphrase from memory only). Though she helped develop the metaverse in the novel, this book being to sl what Verne is to the rocket ship or submarine, she spends as little time there as she can because it decreases intimacy between people. Now, I know there are lots of strong relationships built and thriving in sl. I have a few myself. But I don't know...something about that line stuck.

Maybe when the snow is falling, the weather sucking, and I am home alone again I will find myself pulled back in. Heck, maybe next week I'll find myself pulled back in. But I have so little time, have so few friendships there I actually consider vital (could count on one hand, I think)....sl does not always bring out the best in people as we zone into the grid hum....I am just not around much of late, and this is my apology to my close friends and the very large circle of others I consider friends.

My commitments remain whether I am there or not, whether I sell TS or not (and considering it). Sera is my Ward; Kalia my Sister, and I remain a knight of the RR: the Duchess walks under my protection at all times; only a suicidal fool would test that pledge (and ask any who know me well). I would still come and fight, if need arose, for Aragon or Harald or even, so long since I've seen him, Milamber of Roma. Vid and Hotspur remain genuine friends, and above all, Torvold/Brutis, my own sl mentor, a Brother of Salt and Steel. I believe I would come to his aid in rl if asked, not to mention sl. There is no Man like him I know in all of second life; the truest of hearts.

There are others I miss, of course: Dia, and my dear first friend (and complete sweetie) Lilikoi; also Era, Mav Szondi, Elle, others I know I forget. But you know, now that my back injury is mostly better, I'm like...why not do real martial arts again? Why not exercise more than my fingers (hours in front of the computer has not been great for my actual body). As much beauty, creativity, depth of feeling as sl holds, when I was into it, I was into it! Perhaps I can continue as I have of late, striking a balance between rl and sl, and only spending a little time in the grid itself. But again, summer weather, summer projects, my rl family (and the work that takes is enormous) my rl house (ditto) and my other hobbies (reading, writing, sailing, hiking, drinking, eating, getting into the woods or to the coast...about covers it) have suffered under the sl spell.

I am keeping my meter up for now though! Would not want to bother Desmond. I never got my place fully decorated, never threw my housewarming party....perhaps I should work on that. And I am sorry there was not a second tourney for life. There were so many other successful events, and I had a medical issue this month, not serious, but which has me on daily Vitamin V (diazapem) for painful (but passing) muscle contractions...I think I forgot to bring it up with Ras again. Well, it was a very, very successful rfl, and when and if I get my butt back into Caledon rp a tourney and weapons work (and piratey stuff) is top of my list. But hey, no need to wait for me! Everything you need is at hand, brothers and sisters.

So, this is not like Brett Favre's farewell in March....this is Tele saying he is not around much these weeks and probably will not be in world much during the summer. Some, but not much. And that he intends to cut back hours in the grid. Leave completely? Or rather, take a true and complete break? I am considering it, actually, but not at that point yet.

Well, sincere love to all. I have some amazing memories and grew very much as a person. But dammit, the closet doors and baseboards need paint! And I have yet to finish the 20th OBrian novel, let alone N.T. Wright's massive tome I am someplace in the middle of. Plus, started Golden Compass...well, started a lot I have to finish; teaching the first half of the English survey next fall for the first time...tons to read!

God's peace. See you all again, I am sure :)

Tele

Security Concerns in the Cay

Rumors of black-sailed Pirate ships in outer Caledon waters have reached Octopus Gardens, and I have realized I may have to spend less time reading, travelling, and drinking to address the security concerns piratey types always introduce among the more kind-hearted societal element.

When Sir Edward contacted me to let me know he was moving to Highlands, I realized this was a perfect opportunity! His land sat where the open sea (of Murdann) touches the Cay and Carntaigh...it is a critical stragetic inlet...Bucanneers can raid in the Cay, at Carntaigh, even in Mayfair in the absence of a vigilant eye. As soon as the building work itself can be completed on the old Davaar parcel, I am moving my permanent home out of Octopus Gardens and into the larger and more exposed, windswept spot.

Of course, some fortification will be necessary, rather like an old New Orleans fort (nothing enormous or out of place). But the fact is, the design demands of such a location must be taken seriously (and I love to shop); and finding the right Architect and Plan will take some time (God help me when it comes to the rugs and artwork). In the meantime, a stone gazebo is in place, to provide shelter from the elements for any who wish to stare out to sea...watching the sun, the (wind)light on the water...or trying to catch a glimpse of a black sail....

In the meantime, as I travel in order to find the things I need to settle into my new home, Miss Puchkina, my Ward, remains safely esconced at OG, handling the day to day...(though I congratulate her on her new, and very skillfully decorated, home in SteamSkyCity). It is my hope there will be enough room on the new parcel for Heimdall, my brute-fierce mastiff...an animal I raised in Torvaldsland but who has never quite fit on the OG grounds.

More later, when building actually commences!

No Weapons in the Smithie?

Aye, tis true! The weapons vendor is gone, though the coals still burn hot.

Being a rather low tech (when I want to be) and trusting soul I did not have my land parameters set correctly; someone, I am sure a non-Caledonian wandering type, rezzed enough...something...on my land at Octopus Gardens to send everything I did not own back to its lawful owners. I did not know this could happen. Hence, the weapons vendor was kicked back to Navar Harbinger, along with one or two very nice personal gifts on display in my home!

I believe I have everything fixed now (with the help of a very kind estate manager), but as I may be moving my official residence a bit farther north in the Cay, I am waiting until that time to consider what to do with the smithie. I would like to use those weapons for piratey role play, but it is also true they can be purchased a short tp away without my hosting the vendor. And I never asked for any money nor made any commission.

The only sad thing with abandoning the smithie is that Miss Discovolante made me a wonderful build!

If and when I move, I will reconsider. Know, though, that everything I had in the smithe is available from Harbinger and Stormie designs, and they have a very large and very easy to find store.

Love to all. See you in world!

Privateers of Caledon

In the interest of promoting good combat rp in Caledon, Sir Tele is looking for persons interested in playing Pirates, Privateers, raiding Buccaneers; and at the same time, persons who will join Sir Tele in defending certain Caledon sims against such Piratey types!

I sent out an announcement to the Loch Avie Academy of Arms, but no one responded. Yet plenty I have asked in IM are more than interested! You can play in your current avie or an alt, or both, and I was thinking of using traditional weapons (spears, swords, bows, etc.) and individual combat meters in our occasional melees, but I am open to ideas; Caledon is steampunk, after all. I do appreciate the practice it takes to get good with those kinds of weapons, however; a rapid-fire firearm is rather less intricate in its application (Tele himself keeps twin mini uzis close at hand for very bad times)...but as I said, I am open to ideas how we manage the combat.

Just think: would be able to roleplay Pirate (or noble Defender) anyplace in Caledon, an actual active raiding type person, but of course the raids themselves would have to be planned. And I need a name for those who choose to defend our fair State against the buccanneers...perhaps a branch of the Navy? I am working on that... :)

Contact me in world if you have interest. I can guarantee, this is going to be a lot of fun.

T

Of Arms and the Man (OOC)

I am finding sl blog a dramatic shift! I can say more in a 30 minute blast here than poor Tele can get out in a month in world. This is good and also challenging; above all it is different.

I have gone back and read Tele's long post on the Duchess' blog, and find I wish to say a few things about role play combat in sl, and I guess about myself in rl.

I have never been much for video games (not since the original Zork, anyway) and have never played Doom, etc. I have done martial arts, off and on, for years; I have always found those environments positive, a place where the body and mind are built up and not torn down. When I dropped into SL quite by accident more than a year ago (in a work related exploration) I found myself doing what we all have done: hypnotically clicking on telehubs from the main map and tp'ing into random sims. That is how I discovered Caledon; it is also how I found sl Gor. The first city I entered (not Tland) astounded me with its slaves and thralls and distinct warrior culture. Rather like the real world behind the time of the Illiad, I have always thought, in cartoon form. I understood quickly, from talking to the little slave girl who gave me my first Gorean city-tour, that what was going on was consensual role play, even if I did not understand it. I certainly have never felt drawn to the dom/sub side of Gor. That is me personally, you understand! It may be that some have their personalities uplifted by such games, or merely enjoy them without damage.

It was also in that paticular City (again not Tland) that I met a man I would now recognize as a Priest King. Who and what they are I only know a little even now (for they are not favored in Tland, and we had none there) but it was this bald fellow who first asked me if I wanted to spar. I did not know one could spar in sl. He gave me the free Laura sword (a sword I still have) and told me the very basics of how to use it. He was not a resident of this town, I believe, but he talked me into their arena, and while I tried to swing proceeded to blast me with multi-colored push arrows until I was trapped in a cage ball over and over...finally, he left me there, in the cage ball, in an Arena with walls so high I had to tp out (and I was so noob, this took me time to figure). I did not complain, but this was clearly not a good experience.

It was quite by accident that I landed in Scagnar and met Brutis. Brutis! There is none like him in all sl (except for his alts). Eight feet tall, with a drinking horn on one hip, a huge axe on his back, a wonderful accent, and an utterly helpful spirit. When he asked if I would like to spar and I told him I had no weapon (not completely true, as I still had the sword someplace with my free t shirts and sunglasses and jeans from NCP) he said "one will be provided." Unlike the first idiot I encountered, Brutis showed me how to rez the weapon (the forerunner of our own Loch system!) and a little about how to use it. From that first night, our friendship grew and he and I spent many hours, about a year ago from now, playing with axes in that arena. How fun that was! No one really died, everyone got up right away, and no one held hard feelings. Well, almost no one. Brutis and I were there so much we saw noobs and characters from other sims come and go, and I learned a lot about a person by the way he acted in the Arena. I learned some boast, some swagger, and some whine....but my favorites were always the guys who the more they lost the more they wanted to try! Who never lost their tempers. Who persisently tried to improve even if they ate sand all day. I learned about warrior courtesy, and I learned about Honor. Of course, I knew I was in a virtual world; this was not real martial arts, but the culture around the arena in Scagnar in some ways offered me more psychologically (though sadly, nothing physically) than some places I had trained in rl.

Taht said, what sl Gor lacked, and lacks, is Chivalry. And I define this as a desire to use strength to protect those who lack strength. Some of them (as Brutis) do look out for their bondmaids with tremendous fervor; but all too often I heard the term "my properties" to refer to a man's slave girl avs, I heard the Free Women denigrated in jokes over and over, and I could not last in a culture like that, even if Tland was milder than most. More on this topic another time. I have another small story to share.

There was one night Brutis and I were on self-designated duty, patrolling the docks (and the sim never entered full rp when I was there, nor has it yet done so, so we had few intersim contests though we were always drilling and preparing to defend our City) and some, as Brutis would say, "sleenish" men came into the sim. It turned out they distracted Brutis and I while two of them rp'd stealing the homestone, the most sacred object in any Gorean City (which, considering ours is actually a Mountain, cannot really be done). When their ransom demands reached us the next day, we were all utterly enraged, and Tharkis plotted our response.

It was well planned, let me say. But as we collected men from other sims to help our small band (and only Turia came in force) some horrifying things were said as we geared up for a full scale invasion of the thieves' home camp. Things I will not repeat. And when we got there, I will share only one memory: a naked female avatar running down the hill in the dark, trying to escape as we exchanged arrows with the one or two warriors in their camp (there were almost none of them there when we arrived, at least in my memory) ; she came right at me, I was firing wildly, and I shot her once before I could think to just let her go (someone else brought her down, and she was bound; she was the daughter of their Ubar, or King). I swear, I swear, I heard her scream as she came running erratically towards me. That may have been near impossible at that time in sl, but I swear she did. I know this is second life; I know we are all playing avatars, but I have never gotten over that experience. She was unarmed, and not dressed (there are plenty of female avatars in Gor, the panthers and talunae, who go very well heeled, and who will do things to captured men few in Caledon can imagine and who understand how the rp works...this poor thing was not one of them).

So, you see, when I came to Caledon, I did my best to make sure any woman who needed a bow had one. I was happy to see women competing in our Arena (and winning) and glad that women in Caledon have full equal rights; the absolute opposite is true in Gor. There are sims where a slave, and even a woman, can be impaled for carrying a weapon or the wrong kind of weapon (never Tland). Let me step completely out of character and ask: what kind of sick boy-shit is that? But I found another piece of myself emerge in the Caledon role play: chivalry. I announced myself as bodyguard to the Duchess Loch Avie (on my own initiative) before the Tourney for Life, as I was very unsure what would happen when we brought our warmongering hoards into Loch Avie, and I was damned sure the person who thought up the TFL was not going to be harassed or collared. I had a picked guard of men...Brutis among them, who came with a personal armory on his back, to put down any problems that might arise (none did). As I found myself more uncomfortable in Gor, and spending more time in Caledon, I discovered the very good feeling it is to be Protector, even if no one in Caledon actually attacks anybody else (yet anyway). It is true I have remained the sworn bodyguard of DLA, but my anger absolutely flames when any helpless or defenseless person is threatened or challenged! There are rl reasons for this, I think, which form no part of this blog.

Which brings me to the reason I am really posting this: in rl, I have never hit a person outside a mutual training situation, as in boxing, kickboxing, karate sparring, whatever; I abhor actual violence and the damage caused by any war, and believe actual aggression must be a method of last resort. Now, I love martial arts! I see nothing wrong with full contact sparring sports, etc. Let us say I abhor any serious violence! This is the code I live by, and I live in a country safe enough to be able to embrace it.

For me, then, sparring in sl is simply fun, like any game or sport which uses eye hand coordination. And the new weapons look cool! Sl 'combat' is much more complex, as it involves stronger feeling, etc. Still, in a sim that does not allow rape or torture or other repugnant rp, I think it can be quite exciting. High Adventure! The sim the Duchess and I were in the other night is a sim like that: when an 'evil' person is captured, he is told to be good and loving and nice, and when released, must act in a kind and passive manner for 12 hours. It is very fun to see this. When the baddies catch one of the good people, one comes back under a curse, attacks a friend or friends in the City, and the one time I saw it happen anyway, is then taken to the infirmary to be healed and restored to one's loving self. A fun system, as much as I've seen of it.

All this said, do not think I have forgotten what was done to me that night in the rp! I fully intend to go after my target! But even beating an evil wizard to a pulp and hauling him off to the pokey (assuming I ever beat him at all)....these are things that are expected, even good naturedly, in that sim. I do not want to emotionally wound anyone's typist. RL provides enough of that to go around.

This, then, is a sketch of why I like sl arms and combat, and why I admire people who can do them in good sport. It shows humility and courage to get out there and try and fail! And it takes persistence to get good! It is utterly exhiliaring when one wins! These are commendable traits and valuable experiences.


Oh, I must also say:

H's comment that Miss P and I may now fight crime at night was hilarious and well-taken. But while she thought up the idea that her ending up in my house could have something to do with a duel (certainly based on the silly things I told her about myself and my interests in world) it was I who had her punch the villain and throw the rock in the story below. Empowering her, and minimizing Tele's role. She may have no interest in such things at all! It is not fair that I write backstory for her, and won't do it again without letting her see it first (though she has not complained...she seems a kind and fine person, and one truly new to Caledon).

Love to all. It seems I had more to say on this blog than I thought! But then I am catching up....more than a year in world, and no chance to reflect on that experience with those who also share it.

Peace.

Sir Tele Takes a Ward

Some of my friends must have noticed a new face in Caledon, Miss Serafina Puchkina...my Ward. How did such a thing come to be? Well...without further delay, the tale:


Miss Puchkina's Story:

As is often the case, I was abroad.

This particular time, in the northeastern climes, white lands where the winters are bitter and the clear spirits brilliant as sun on snow. After dinner, perhaps an hour before the sunset, I was stretching my legs in the woods just behind the little inn which had provided hot food and an enormous feather bed for the past week. About the time I thought I would cut back into town, I came across an extraordinary scene.

A young woman, perhaps a teenager based on her posture and build, was kneeling in the snow sobbing so hard her entire body twitched with the rhythym. She was nearly breathless with crying, and I saw her before I heard her. Her gown was black or a very dark gray; she wore a black veil, and while the dress had splashes of mud and was wet in places, the clothing clearly implied a place in society. Immediately, I noticed that twenty or so paces behind her was a young man with no coat on, who likewise seemed to be wearing clothes denoting station, lying completely still in a large, nearly black pool of blood; the front of his vest was very wet. His hair was vivid red; all this I could see even in the diminished light of the wood.

At almost the same instant, as my perspective shifted, I saw a large man, thick limbed, with very close-cut hair, crouching on the ground next to the girl and holding her right wrist in his left hand. He likewise wore no coat, and more telling, no shirt; his upper body was entirely naked. He had close fitting woolen trousers and the heavy boots common to the region. Oddly, as if this scene did not hold enough violence, he whispered something low and urgent, his mouth inches from the right side of her bowed head.

What I took to be his coat and shirt and vest, perhaps also a cape, were in a small pile a few yards away. I noticed as I got closer, too, the fallen man's jacket, crumpled and dark, not far from his unmoving body; likewise, what appeared to be a pistol near his right hand, half buried in the few inches of powder snow. As I got still closer, I saw the short-haired man half-held a pistol casually in his right hand, as he still clung to the wrist of the sobbing girl. Clearly, I had come upon a murder or the result of an unorthodox duel. I had not had the chance to see how matters of honor were settled in these societies, but there was not a second or referee to be seen. They had either left or fled, or were never present.

Very rarely do I step out without a weapon of some kind. This draws no remark in most places in the world, and it is always good to have a means of self defense at hand, openly displayed, concealed, or better--both. In this case I had the Sword of Darkness low on my left hip and a favorite dagger lashed to my upper right leg; in case I ended up disadvantaged and on the ground, there was a small dirk in my right boot. I had no firearm. The heavy cloak I wore for warmth provided some concealment for the weapons, but the end of the sword scabbard was clearly exposed. I did not know how the sight of an armed man might affect the mood of a man who has just killed another. I slowed, and when I was close enough to be heard if I spoke with a raised voice, I stopped completely before the crunch of dry snow would bring the attention of either person still living.

I did not collect a plan for speech; for the short-haired man tilted his head a bit as he continued his urgings and as he did so, he saw me. I found his reaction very casual considering the circumstances. He raised his head, his breath coming in great clouds in the cold (I was impressed that he still wore no shirt) and met me with confident eyes. Whatever had just occurred, he was far from ruffled; his face was that of a man in control. This I found the most unnerving thing so far.

His first words were not in English, but the complex local speech, a language of which I knew little though I believed he was asking a question. When he spoke, the girl raised her head and looked in my direction; she stopped crying a bit as she continued to watch me through the veil, if indeed her eyes were directly on me. Though I could not see her face at all, somehow I sensed she had more in common with the man dead on the snow than with the short-haired man who continued to stare, the clearly spent pistol loose in his right hand. He repeated his guttural question. I spoke in English. What I said was not at all what I had planned to say.

"What the bloody hell is going on here?" I said.

He smiled, cocked his head to one side, and answered in broken, heavily accented words, "The sun sets…..it is time for walkers to walk home, yes?" Then, oddly, he smiled.

I have never liked being told what to do; perhaps this comes from my youth on the ices of the Torvaldsberg, but everything in this scene filled me with concern, and I felt the slim, sharp thrill of terror fill me which is so familiar.

I did not see a blade on his person (this meant little comfort) and his gun, a single shot, had surely been discharged…I could smell the burnt powder in the brittle air. Still, I closed the distance between us, walking to within ten feet of the large man and the girl, always keeping my eye on him, acutely conscious of what his hands were doing, and still aware from my side vision as I approached that the man lying in the snow had not stirred, made a sound, or apparently taken a breath in all this time.

In return, I half-smiled at the short-haired man…the girl had grown strangely quiet as I got near and stopped crying altogether. "You speak some English, I see?" I said.

"Da," he said, though he had stopped smiling as I got close, and had pulled the pistol closer to his body; he did not let go of the girl's arm.

Still smiling, as if this were not quite the extraordinary diorama it was, I tilted my head towards the dead red-haired man.

"I am guessing, also, you are a better shot than this man," I said.

At that he smiled again, even laughed a little, but most tellingly, the slight woman in black began to cry very softly. As close as I was, the contour, the texture of those sobs moved me very much, and I decided at that moment I did not care for the shirtless man. I also saw that is grip on her forearm was a tight one, and no caress.

Before I had a chance to come up with my next phrase, the girl caught her breath and spoke in perfect, Guvnah's English. The words came slow, deliberate and clear.

"My brother lies dead on the snow, sir; he was killed in a duel by this man. We were traveling in this country, and I have no place to go; I do not wish to go with this…man!"

As she said the word "man" the most amazing thing happened. She fairly exploded, shouted the word, and began pushing herself to her feet. She attempted to wrench her right arm free and with the other threw a respectable left hook which hit the man square on the cheek as he rose with her, trying to keep control of her arm; quick as light, she pulled back and hit him again.

One never knows how moments in this life will unfold, one to the next. The world entered a slow motion, as I have felt before. I did not know the cause of the duel; though any fight held without seconds, in the presence of a man's sister, which must result in the forfeiture of said sister…this is no honorable duel. I circled to my left so that the girl would no longer be between myself and the short-haired man and drew closer to them both as I did so (left and up arrow key, simul). Though she had struck him twice, she had not freed her arm, and the man, who I noticed was not looking in my direction but was instead glaring enraged at the girl, struck her across the face with the pistol still held in his right hand. She fell immediately to the ground. That was enough for me. Saint, villain, or some of both, this man's meter was going to zero.

A fast tug and my cape was off and falling draped across my left forearm, the long blade came out whip fast in my right hand. I did not think I had time to draw the dagger as well, but the cape would be of some help in the very beginning perhaps; at the sound, and wind, of the unveiled sword the short-haired man spun to face me, shirtless, his face purple with rage; this was the first time I noticed he was huge, even larger than myself, very hairy, arms hard as tree limbs. He feinted by pointing the pistol at me, but I knew it was without ball and so I merely took a better stance and leveled the blade between us, finding a sure grip. When I did not flinch at the gun's mouth, he threw it rather lamely in my direction. It missed my face and bounced off my chest; before it hit the ground he turned and ran.

Would that he had kept running. I would far rather he had simply fled. But what he did instead was sprint to the pile of his clothes on the ground, reach inside with both hands and pull; I heard the distinct sound of steel moving fast over sheath metal…his own sword was underneath the pile, and in seconds he stood facing me in an odd Eastern stance, left hand held high behind him, sword bare and bright in the fading and pointed confidently at my face.

We closed cautiously, each watching the other. Then the first clash and pass.

He was good, and he left me a cut on my upper left arm though I gouged my point well into his upper left thigh. Such cuts are often not felt much during an actual fight, and we closed again; I let the cape drop so that I could move with complete freedom, and after a center line parry I managed a quick, bright cut on his sword forearm; though unfortunately for me, on the outer rather than inner arm.

We might have continued like, slowly slicing each other to strips, except for the girl who was now somewhere behind us in the falling light. While the short-haired man and I closed for the third time, I felt a slight whoosh and saw a large, dark object fly past me and hit him on his forehead. It was a rock of some size, and while he scowled and the blood began to drip into his eyes, I closed quickly and with a violent slash cut his sword arm very deep. His blade fell, I may have broken his wrist or forearm, and as I closed, the weapon chambered for a wicked slash, he saw his predicament: unable to see well, stunned from the blow, his sword on the ground…as I stepped on the flat of his dropped blade he turned and sprinted, holding his cut arm, leaving his clothes behind.

I lost sight of him fast as the sun was now nearly down, and surprised but grateful, I turned to see the person who may have saved my life.

***

Our journey back to Octopus Gardens was not really a long one (what with the tp's working), but I learned many things about Miss Serafina Puchkina on the way. She and her brother were orphans; their father, who held high political station in their home country, had been thrown over in a betrayed and thrown from power by a family relative and a close friend. Miss Puchkina was educated abroad, hence her superb English, and she was travelling with her brother on holiday during the sinister topple of their father. Word reached them of the event via a kindly servant, and they had been in hiding since, moving from small forest town to small forest town, with only the little money they had with them on holiday, unable to return to their ancestral home, their father dead and their fortune stolen; the servant left behind in some town or other as they could not feed her and themselves. While in the town where I met them, the short-haired man (whose name Miss Puchkina never learned) placed his hands on Miss P in the dining room of an inn down the street from my own. There may have been wiser ways to deal with the matter (use of local authorities if any could be found; ambush by bow the next morning if her brother had a bow) but her brother threatened the man on the spot. The short-haired man twisted the confrontation into a duel where he chose the weapons, a pair of pistols packed with his things in his room (the brother and sister went unarmed). Sadly, the brother, who had no prior experience, was easily dispatched, and there my story began.

Everything I had seen in the clearing confirmed this account: the short-haired man's manner with Miss P, the fact that he wore no shirt (a necessity in a fight with pistols any experienced man would know), the fact that he laughed off the other man's death and then struck the girl.

It did not take much consideration to know that I must take the charming Miss Puchkina back to Caledon for a stay at Octopus Gardens. I need help with occasional managerial or secretarial dues…I am often away. I also find her company charming, and our age difference must silence even the most talkative. She is young enough to be considered a ward of my home until she can make her way in the wider Caledon world. Welcome to Caledon, Miss Puchkina!

Greetings, Caledon

Until now, Tele's human has resisted having a blog for two reasons: one, he would rather exist in the color-hum of the grid than spend character time in the 2d world of blog; and two, he has no bloody time. He has another long-standing non-sl blog which is quite behind, and his rl remains persistently present despite his occasional attempts at escaping it via sl, free weights, or whisky. (Though together with family, God, books and good food, what else does a man need?)

These facts lead me to make a prediction: Tele will not post here often. Now, I could be wrong! He may have much more to say about his sl dealings than I foresee. But I assume these posts will be infrequent (though sincere) and deal with Adventure in various lands; he spends much time abroad, you know. One thing that I concede is immediately appealing about this venue is that it is utterly silly, fully creative, and has no legitimate end or value. I think this is called fun....nice of Sir Tele to bring me along for the ride :)

More to come :)