Friday, July 24, 2009

Cry Invalid, and the Heart Brother

I did not think anyone read these posts, especially now. But I found out at least one person does, and so I plod on with my usual eclectic reflections. I like to write here.

Invalid

SL Gor is not all it appears to be from the outside. It is a challenge to make any user-moderated competitive rp work, and when you add rp combat to the mix, and egos, it's harder still. Sims have to have "mods" who function like referees; if I think a rule is broken, I call the mod to settle it on site.

Considering none of this has anything to do with money, it is surprising how often the rp goes awry and one or both sides just call it quits. "Let's ban their group" and "invalid" are the two most common phrases in my experience. I think both are grossly overused. A couple of examples:

Near the end of my time in Fina, when most had left already, we had one guy who said he was a Torvaldslander, but was not very good at knowing what that was. He attacked one of the Red, or Warriors on duty, right in front of our gate. My man just managed to crawl inside the portcullis before I dropped it, at the edge of consciousness. Naturally, once I realized it was not a full raid but just one guy, I gave chase. Bryan joined me and one other, and we capped him not far into the Wood (capped means we hit him with arrows until he fell "unconsious" in his meter; you stay there for 5 minutes before you begin to wake up; usually, by then, you have been bound; that is capped and the meter does all of it).

We dragged him back and put him in a cell while I listened to him whine. Bryan had to log, so it was me and another guy, without an authority source, trying to figure out what to do. I went to interview one of the Free Women whom he might have attacked; she identified him as having tried, but was not injured. And then, a group standing around, the talk begins: he was here yesteday, we should ban his rp, he is griefing, etc.

I don't think attacking a man in front of a City is griefing or even bad rp; it's stupid, but it is actual rp. While all these ooc (out of character) issues were being discussed, I had Tas bring him out and tie him to a tree and I killed him with a dagger sacred to Odin. He rp'd that pretty well.

Death, by the way, in Gor rp is uncommon, even rare. For most, it means 24 RL hours of no Gorean rp. Some sims require you to prove a good reason for killing anyone to a mod. We did not have that rule, and I was sick of his whining. Likely, he went home and reset his meter and kept rolling.

But I think before we "ban anyone's rp" we should first find a way to take them out in the game (hah, I said game) and if necessary kill them. Make them not want to come back. Burn their town, etc.

Second example:

Two days ago I was upstairs in my small house in Zamora arranging furniture. I was in Edit Mode, moving things, when someone, a lone female pirate (I do give her credit for guts) snuck up behind me and capped me before I had time to get out of Edit and draw. Had I thought faster and not been so caught off guard, I might have beat her. As it was, I went down without hitting her once. I could have easily cried invalid, said I was in Edit, but since I had not set my meter to ooc or afk, which I can do, I figured it was my fault.

She was a funny little thing. She bound me, dragged me to a ship at our docks, and tp'd me to her pirate haven (though the wrong ship, the one around the corner from our official tp point: you can't just take a captive out of a sim anyplace, that would not be fair at all; all sims have official entry and exit points for raiders; she tried, got close, but was off by a bit).

Once I got there, it was actually fun. I have limits in my Picks as most do, and nobody was violating those (or me). I kept making fun of the First Mate's pirate hat; I mean, he was wearing a 3 corner hat and everyone was calling him First Mate..."I left a note, First Mate..." ; I thought that was hilarious in a Gorean sim. Since they had left a note, I IM'd on the Zamora chat and Jake himself showed up to get me. My abductor wanted to trade. Not anything real, of course, no lidens are ever allowed (well, we could trade an actual Linden, I suppose, but not the currency).

Then things went to shit. Jake and the First Mate guy got into some escalating insults, not helped by the fact that I was praying to Odin and threatening to burn the city to the ground with all my friends...the Mate like this idea so much he stuffed a map into my mouth so I could find my way back (if Jake did not want to go back, the raid would already be). So the Mate draws, Jake draws, and Jake would have had him with sword alone but the Mate draws his bow, one or two others are firing too, and Jake goes down.

The insults continue, quite normal one would think for the situation; it's amazing how many people want meek prisoners (I was long gagged by now, and going "mmmm....mmmm...mmm.....mmmm" all the time). Then, just when some twisted torture freak showed up to inject Jake with something (and oh they wanted to kill him in some awful way) the First Mate decides to kick us out. Forget their whiny asses, whatever he said I forget. Just go home; it's over, etc. How lame is that? Jake was insulting him for using a bow in a fight that began with swords and hiding behind the bow of his woman, all seemed pretty fair insults to me. But 3 corner Matie called it invalid an sent us home saying he's ban our whole group! hah! He did say I could come back to settle my personal score, but truthfully, nothing was done to me that was out of normal rp; I am not angry, except for the fact they kicked us out just when it was rolling.

What if they had not? What if they had killed Jake? It would have been up to him, but I tell you this: we are formally allied with Rovere and Teletus, and those pirate docks would have first run red and then burned to the sea. First Mate thought this was funny when I told him it would be. I am sure the pirates who abducted Julius Ceasar for ransom thought he was funny till he came back, after ransom, and crucified every one.

***

Now, for something completely diferent. I can only hope my gentle reader has gotten this far, navigating his or her way through reflections on Gor life. I don't think anyone I know in Gor reads this blog; I don't put it in my profile. I know it could be found in google (how many Telemachus Dean's are there) but I imagine my audience to be a handful of old Caledon friends, and I write here for them.

The Heart Brother

I often laugh when I am sitting at my keyboard, my avatar in world. Loud, and often. But the story I am about to tell is the funniest thing that has ever happened to me in world, or a top contender.

I do not mix rl and sl. Meaning, very, very few people in the grid know who I really am. Part of this is my job. I teach college, and, well, you get the idea. I would never want colleagues to know I fight in Gor, nor would I want students to set up avs and get in there and rp with me unawares. So, in all my time in sl, I have brought in only two rl friends, one a colleague, and finally, one a male student I trust from a lit. class; he is older, a good guy, and was having trouble navigating the grid as a noob, so I said I'd help.

I met him, first, on the bridge at Skye. I forgot how bad noobs can look. He could have been the dictionary noob, poster noob, made the list of worst dressed noobs. He looked horrible. I told him about skins and ao's and hair, but what he really wanted to do was learn to fight.

So I took him to a weapons store (he bought a pike which must have been twelve feet, running in the field, it would be like a giant flag to bowmen...shoot here) and we sparred for a while. He did fine, it is always a joy to teach new people weapons (or any people) and finally it got too late for me and I had to log. Tired as I was, I thought of the advice Nighteagle gave me when I was a noob to both Gor and sl; I still admire it: " use that Sword at your side, and guard your Heart."

When NE said that I was like, guard my heart from what? I thought he was crazy. And he said from the women, the bondmaids and the free women, the girls in here. I thought he was even more crazy. I'm married, bro, I told him.

I have honored my wife, I believe, my entire time in world. But NE was right. Feelings can run strong in the grid, of all kinds, and pass quickly through one in the rp; it's like electronic or cartoon method acting. So, trying to be a good mentor to my new in world friend, I wrote something like this:

"use that sword at your side, and guard your heart brother"

and he said

"what is that term, is it gorean?"

And I just could not figure this out. What term? What was he talking about?

So, being late at night for me, I cut to the chase

"for many, sl can be a very romantic place"

pause

"even a very sexual place"

long pause, longer

Then

"oh, oh, I get it, a comma thing: you meant guard your heart, brother"

My new in world friend, my male student from last semester, thought I was telling him to guard his heart brother, as in heart-brother. As if that were me. Then, when I began telling him sl could be a romantic place, even a sexual place, as he put it

"I thought, oohhh, shit!"

He thought I was hitting on him.

Now, that, to me, is awfully awfully funny, especially considering he had recently been my student. We sorted it out, I think, and I invited him back to Zamora anytime, but I have not seen him in world since, hah! He took my class with his wife to make it even more funny.

Love to all. Hope that last story brightened someone's day :)

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Once More into the Grid, Once More into the Grid.....

If my post below was snarky, I apologize. I was writing about things I did not know from personal experience. Sometimes this blog shows the "human" side to Tele (now that is funny). In world, he works so hard at being an icon of virtue, a hard worker and loyal friend, at times he has to blow off steam here. This post is going to blow off some steam, ic and ooc, as they say.

First, I see that Hostpur is leaving SL for a time. This is very sad for me, even though I have not seen him in world months and months. And I am terrible at reading the blogs, though his remains perhaps the finest sl blog I know and I will miss it anyway. Change often hurts. I wish him and his unique genius the absolute best in his rl. And if he sees this, I will lend aid any way I can if asked in either world. I believe he knows this.

As many know, I took a long break from SL myself, about 9 months. That was driven mostly by a back injury exacerbated by sitting, but also by my own need to embrace rl and clear my grid-addled head. I tend to get pulled into things rather fully; one might say obsessively :) SL was no exception. Over my break I wrote, grew in my spiritual life, engaged in rl community. But also, during my long days working at home, I fought the old loneliness. I have a loving wife and son; I love when we are all sitting around the living room watching tv, eating ice cream, talking smack. But I work from home about half the time, my wife is now working full time, my son can drive himself and has a girlfriend...you see. The isolation of long days spent in my mountain home returned. After some thought, and after realizing talking to my little dog was not enough, after finding out I could kneel on a pillow in front of the computer for a little while (I do not play sl on the laptop; I can't fight from a mousepad) I took a peek back in.

What did I see?

Fina, the great city of white stone and the place I served for so long, had been rebuilt twice. Worse, when I showed up, it was stripped of half its prims. Mostly gone. It took me a little while to find out why; I actually heard the truth, or part of it, from a bondmaid when I was visiting an old friend in the North (sorry, we are in gor world now). Jake, the prior Admin and builder, had been booted. I was stunned. I came to Fina long ago looking for the home of Jake and another named Cornelius Tal. Jake took my application and swore me to the Stone. And Fina was just great. There were raids and I fought some, but mostly I worked that Gate. I got to be as good at telling who was lying, who was spying, who was legit, as any cop! Hah! You see we were a big and active City, and had visitors all the time. When I was on, they usually had to talk to me before they got in.

And as I have said before, I served there under legends, but a gradually decreasing legend base. I was unsure what to do about the Jake thing; there are always two sides to every story and I really do avoid drama so I did not know what had occured. But when Bryan left, that was it. I spoke to Jake, believed his sincerity and still do, and as I say in my prior post, went to Zamora.

Zamora is different, a small port town. When I got there maybe 3 weeks ago, it was by itself. Now, Jake has, amazingly, rebuilt the Counter Earth Continent, the CEC. We are 8 sims I think (used to be 23) but it is a good start, and with Teletus and Sais on our continent I am happy (Maddog and Bohica, officers from the white city days).

Oh, there is lots of water. I have an old Viking boat I am learning to sail but I am very bad at it. Twice I have gone, each time with a friend, and I am afraid I made each seasick as I spun and weaved around! Laughs. Still, sailing in Gor is new to me and I look forward to exploring by water.

This is the bright side. What about the venting I hinted at earlier? What else have I found in the grid?

One, I used to have very close friends, many. Some I still do have, and do still trust, but others have changed. Or my perspective has changed. It does not help, and I must apologize, that living in an rp sim, even a new one with not many people, constantly pulls me away from IM. So unless I am sitting in my house in Zamora, that IM I started or answered standing on the City wall or hanging out with my door open ends up interrupted by some rp need or other. Sometimes combat related, sometimes now. Oh, on that note, I have won my first couple of bow fights in the field; one against a panther elder. Grins.

Still, I feel like some of the personalities I encounter in the grid are changed. Old and new. Maybe I am more aware; we are, after all, living outside reality when we are in second life. Some are there to escape, as perhaps I myself am running from daytime isolation. I am not judging, just considering. And I will tell one story, for me a powerful event.

My dear (once) Ward (who is still very nice to me and whom I never see) was visiting me in Zamora. We were on a high tower when I saw a panther creep in from the swamps (panthers are women who live in the woods and make war on the cities, basically). I started chasing her; we had a fairly long bowfight with her winning a bit at range. When she got close though, since my only real bow training has been in close, she was soon down. I took her weapons, bound her hands and feet, and tied a rope to the bindings. Then dragged her over to where Sera could hear the rp.

It was the usual: growl, let me go, male, I am free, etc. I am never cruel in Gor. I have let many captives go (I am far from the only one who does that) and only keep them when there is some political reason (like trading for our own captives) or when I am told to, as with someone who has committed some criminal act. This girl was alone, had no tribe (very unusual) and softened her tone when (after making sure she was disarmed and had no poison needles in her hair) I cut her loose and fed her lunch. Her tone continued to soften, and soften, and I saw what was coming...an overture. I am used to refusing those, so I took her to my house, gave her a glass of wine, and asked about her story.

She had a long, long story, in prior avatars, even had known me a little before (if she told me the whole truth, don't know). She was someone who has been hurt a lot in sl. One sees this sometimes in the rp sims (including Caledon). And so I did a very rare thing with her: I asked her to cuddle. You know, just cuddle the avatars while we talked. I do not find this arousing or outside my comfort limits, but I don't do it with many people. Very few, in fact, over the years. She took a picture of us (without asking first) and wrote our names on it...joking because as a panther she is an enemy of the City and I am a Warrior of the City, etc. So far, okay. Then I had to go, or she did, we friended and I logged.

When I came back in later, she was outside the wall again, and fired on me; this was a bit odd. I thought I was alone, but suddenly Maddog's FC (partner) was beside me. I had not met her, did not know her though the name was familiar. She saw I was wounded, tended to my wound (with some very good rp) and before I knew she was with Maddog, Mad, crazy sonofabitcht that he is, had gone around the City side into the Wood itself though it was crawling with panthers and mercenaries. He was fighting the very panther I had met earlier, the one who fired on me and then him, to the south; his FC told me who she was with, where he was, and what he was doing. I was off the wall with drawn bow immediately.

When I got there, they were both almost down. She had Mad very low, only one hit away from dropping him. That would indeed be a rare event, very rare; Mad is a legend. She was also very low, and I hit her once or maybe twice and she was down from either myelf or Mad.

As soon as she hit the ground out it comes: gee thanks Tele I almost had him.

Do you realize the preposterous nature of that remark? A panther I have known for a few hours fires on a Commander in a City with a formal alliance to Zamora; the same Commander who was my Ubar in Fina long ago; he is my Steel Brother as we have sparred in the Arena; he is Jake's best friend. I was appalled. But she kept going, taunting Mad for how low she had him, berating me for helping him, saying how epic it would have been if she had downed Maddog. I told her, in IM, she was on her own now, good luck. Mad hauled her off to Teletus to collar her, I think.

I began to wonder; I peeked in her profile, and there in her Picks was the picture of us, published without my permission. I told her I was not sure how I felt about that in IM, and she reacted very strongly. Then, when Mad branded her (part of being collared; she knows this, and Mad plays for real, which she also knows) she sent me the text, said 'thanks' as if that were my fault; I said that's it we're done, and she pulled me off her fl two seconds before I got to it.

***

You know, that hurt me. I think I am in a place in the grid where I am trying to make new friends. Bryan, thankfully, has come to Zamora, but often the city is empty. Mercedes, my one real friend there, is in a different time zone and as busy in world as me. It may one day feel like Fina did; I am patient, but it does not feel that way yet.

So, is second life worth it? Will I get what I need there, what I want?

I don't know. I don't want to get sucked in as much as I was before (I cannot kneel that long, but I also find myself less 'sucked in' at the mental level). And there are some strange people there. People whose emotional real lives are subsidiary to the emotions generated in sl. It is strange to see that now. I want friends I can trust who are sane in both worlds. People like Eva (whom I probably see in world twice a year). I still trust people: Dia, Sera, Tasdron, Martini, Vid, etc. But none of those people are in Zamora. I trust Jake, but that man works harder in sl than a corporate lawyer in rl. Time will tell.

Thanks for letting me talk. I wanted to tell some cool adventure stories from Gor but just vented instead. Adventure and challenge is why I am there. It's not the books, or the slave rp; it's the Honor, Brotherhood, and Adventure. SL Gor is so full of adventure I cannot begin to describe it. I have a score of stories, cornered by panthers in the wood and talking my way out of it, being bound by outlaws and thrown in the river to drown (and rescued by Mad and Jake that time) , so many, many stories. Next time :)

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Zamora, and O Caledon

I have taken a small residence in a modest port town called Zamora; yes, it is Gorean, run by Jake Molinaro, the Admin at Fina when I came to that amazing City when it was white stone, and someone I met in the Tland Arena when I was barely out of my noobage. It was hard to see Fina disintegrate, as it surely has, all the men I admired gone: Jake, Maddog, Jimmie, Bohica, and finally Bryan. It was that last loss which put me over the top. As I said to Bryan, it was once Camelot, and as he noted, that time is gone. I grieve, truly.

But I am optimistic about the rp in Zamora. I get to be around men like Jake and Maddog, actual legends, more than I did when in the crowd of Fina. And merc, Jake's girl, and I have hit it off; in some ways we are opposites, but she is such a dear person and very bright. So, for now, I have done what I could with my 50 prim allotment, continue to look for new art (long my passion in sl) and hope to sharpen my bow fighting skills. In Zamora, with panthers a plenty just over the wall, all too happy to plink at any guard, I will get the chance to practice bow. In Tland, as I may have said here before, we did not use the bow at all; we lived in that Arena, sparring round after round with sword, spear, or axe. But in the wide open world of combat rp Gor, well, the bow, with its ridiculously endless arrows, is very important. It is different, and I have my work cut out, but it is all good.

I remain connected to Skye, of course, though I am rarely there. I often wonder what has happened to Caledon, long my home (in Cay) and always a Vision I have supported. It has grown, much, though I know the Lindens did it irreparable damage when they limited the voids. This cost Caledon some of its dearest Peers, as all who know any god-damned thing admit. I am not around enough to know what occurs in Caledon now, but I will make one comment.

Speaking to a friend who is still in the Realm of Roses (and no, it's not the Duchess, nor anyone else my reader is guessing I am quite sure) I was told that Caledon's social calendar has devolved into "dj partys with tip jars." The days of the elegant hosted balls at the homes of Peers are gone. Is this true? If so, may I say the following:

Anyone trying to make money should get a job in rl. I do not mind those with businesses, expressing creativity in world, and covering tier. By no means. Many of my friends do. Nor am I saying dj's cannot be compensated. But for those who hold Position, especially, as I did in a sense in Caledon or at least Loch Avie, I find using Caledon as a money making venture repugnant. I never made a dime nor sought to. The money put up for the weapons system in the Loch (45 US dollars) came from the pockets of myself, Eva, and Hotspur. I sold my first land at a loss and gave away my Estate on the corner of Cay (to someone who did not do much with it, and has long relinquished it). The burden for those who are established in the Community is to provide for those who are not, to nurture role play and fun, to host and entertain and occupy time well, to act with true grace and style, and to do so without compensation much beyond costs, in my opinion.

From what I hear, and I avoid all politics when I can, similar issues brought down Fina. I do not know. I understand those paying for sims where others play for free deserve significant if not total help, but of course, in Caledon, that is not the case.

Who, when a person comes over to one's rl home, asks for payment for drinks or food? Pffft. Similar hospitality, work for the good of the community, should always be the rule in Caledon. It establishes a constructive, grateful, growing culture. Oh, Caledon lost much with Gabi and Eva. May those left, and those I do not know who now hold Duchies, remember them and learn.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Apologies

Tele wishes to apologize for his...colorful...language today at Oxbridge in response to the griefer. The majority of his anger was rp generated, but still. Special apologies to Miss Malaprop, probably the first person I ever spoke to in Caledon and always an honored presence.

I was surprised to see my Omicron software utterly fail. But then, it is nearly two years old and not updated...

One of those guns that puts the person in a bubble and shoves him across a sim or two might have been fun. Who knows :) Of course, the Vicerenne dismissed the individual with a wave of her paw once she arrived.

Actually, it was all pretty fun. A lot more action than typical for Caledon...chuckles.

Love to all.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Notice Posted on the Door at Skye

Lady Skye,

I have your note about someone "griefing" in your home. Needless to say, my sense of humor about such things is nonexistent. I do not know how to make such an announcement public nor how to get this information to the right person, but any Man responsible (barring those idiot Lindens and their usual mischief) must offer you an apology. God help him if I find him first. Any Woman who admits guilt but refuses an apology will be dealt with on a case by case basis...but that will not be pleasant either.

Telemachus Dean

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Tentaive Steps

On Christmas break, my back doing just a bit better, I find myself tripping into sl for brief periods over the last couple of days. What have I found? The Duchess is moving to winterfell; sad tidings for Caledon indeed. Everyone tells me Caledon is no longer the same but I have yet to run into the conflicts I keep hearing about; then, I've hardly been back but for a couple of short chats. I did meet Mr. Sherlock Holmes. That was most grand.

And today I bipped back into Fina. It is as intersting as usual, with raiders raiding, a chance to spar a new guy (and smoke him, heh) with the new Finian sword, a weapon powerful enough that it may finally even out the ridiculous domination of the bow of endless arrows. I know Gor gets tons of bad press, but Fina at least has been nothing but fun for me with many chances to practice weapons in dynamic situations. Not just two guys in an arena, but open combat. My squeamishness regarding this seems to have left as I realize, after all, this is just a game.

What is thought of my long absence I am not sure. It was mostly back pain issues; secondarily, a need to clear my head of all sl and live my rl for a bit exclusively. If I do go back into the grid, it will be on a more part time basis....recreational user and all.

And that is about it. I have had a chance to say hi in IM to friends I haven't seen in months; that has been great. I don't think I quite have the rp down, in Caledon or Fina, but I'm doing okay. I may keep peeking in during my break; I may not, depends on my back really. Sitting kills my healing. And yes, I've been through a lot of assessment already: MRI, spinal injection...it doesn't seem to be my spine (I could have told them that) but a tendon injury more than two years old. It should have healed a year ago. Why hasn't it? Crouching at the sl computer for so many hours over that time...a likely culprit; at least, a theory I must respect.

I almost deleted this blog completely, guess I'm glad I didn't.

I made some lame comments to a post Desmond put up on Otenth's blog about whatever the latest drama is (I still don't really know). I think what Otenth and Des said was much more vital, but I would hate for Caledon to lose all its Victorian flavor. It used to be a very intelligent place, cultured, even..creative as hell. I hope that continues.

Love to all.

Tele