My love to all who read what was below. I have to give the update, though...as though I have no counter I know friends who do read here.
I had a great talk in world with Dia, and she identified what I was feeling more than anyone: loss. Hurt and anger over the loss of trust in someone I truly cared for. That conversation felt pretty much guardian angel...excellent and well timed.
But to share how the story played out: Vof (the very old friend), after I logged, went back and told the Ubar what he had done. The Ubar had no issue with it, thought it was funny. The white silk girl told me herself she was not offended and was sad he was gone (only worried about getting in trouble). I failed to note one of her groups was Pervs of Gor or Pervs of Sl or something like that...ah, the naive soul that I am. Anyway, she thought Vorfwas quite entertaining. So, no harm done.
And best of all, he wrote to me and apologized for his tone...he did say I need to lighten up, especially when it comes to the bondmaids, and he is right, actually. My values are not shared by all in second life and certainly not all in Gor. I still have much of Caledon in me...But Vof gave a very genuine apology...told me he was "about fifteen beers into a twenty pack," and also getting sick...and I know his rl is very hard right now. It was an apology accepted.
Do I feel completely better? No. But I have to say, I have interacted with this man in voice and in world dozens and dozens of times. I have seen him in many situations, and he has never ever hurt or let me down. So, one out of dozens, and my own self overacting too...both our tempers flared. Right now, things feel pretty good. I consider him Family, long have, hope that I always can.
On the rp note: I was captured in a very well planned raid by a man my City hates; an outlaw, and an ass who comes to collar our women. No man who knows him from my City would disagree with that assessment. There is more history, bad history, with him there than I know. I met him, the first time, when I and another bowman dropped him outside of another City we were defending. I disarmed him, fully legal in the rp, and he was not impressive: "oh yeah, I don't think so..." in short, an ass. When he recovered I just let him run off; I had no intention of capturing him. But our First has also told me he is a killer, and that is a strong word for our First to use. He lured me and another warrior out a couple of weeks ago and this time he dropped me....we were using bows and he went into a small rocky area and drew his sword. I should have gone to spear, lesson learned. Bow against the high speed of the sword in a small area...but that time I had another with me (and then a third came) and he fled.
Yesterday, the day I was captured, he showed up in our safezone (a place people can hang out where combat is not allowed) and I began insulting him pretty much right away, compliments he returned. Then he tried to lure one of our new FW (just freed by her Master....it was very sweet) off into the woods; of course, she did not go, but you all know how protective I can be...I stood just outside the sz and waited. He walked into the wood and began firing; I gave chase with another, we lost him.
But he came back a few hours later, and with a very good plan. Many known outlaws entered our City and began wandering about, distracting warriors, etc. There is a great deal of fighting right now about the rp rules....outlaw groups maintain they cannot be known by their tags, etc., so we just let them walk about, unarmed of course, but still we knew it was a test of whether we would hold to stricter rules and allow them more freedom (rather than just cap them, as we say, on sight).
While I was standing in the gate entrance with another warrior my old buddy came back and began firing his bow at me; hit me with an arrow or two, and I ran out to give chase again, thinking I had backup. Oh, it was rash. The man who followed me is not part of our Red Caste and did not contribute much, but what happened was when I got out just a little ways from the City, two other outlaws, ones I had not met (but one who was very good with her bow) came at me. I made it all the way to within meters of our gate, on the bridge itself, before I went down. They got the other guy, who kind of stood there, and I think even a third who managed to crumple inside the gate itself and close it. Anyway, my nemesis returned, took my bow (but left my spear on me...odd) and bound me. It was legal rp, had to go. He told me he was going to sell me as a thrall, or slave. I have a 3 day cap on collars, and some pretty strict limits in my profile (lots of people do, actually) so I was not sure how things would go. It took him a long time to drag me across something like two Gorean continents, including tp's. I said nothing, though I did admit it was a good plan and well played. In IM, he seemed okay, actually. Though not very deep as a person, I thought. He was quite intent on getting me enslaved.
Anyway, he finally got me to some lady mercs someplace far off, and then tried to sell me. I admired their "lovely boots out of the corner of my eyes." In short, turned on what charm I could...and he bumbled like a fool. Told them I was from Fina...I had the armband on, and they said, and this was a nice moment, that there was no way they were going to buy a Warrior from Fina, that he had best return me to my City for some kind of barter or payment (the most common way these things sort out by far) and that they would not risk angering my City.
That was a proud moment. He kept trying, then blipped. Still not sure if he crashed or logged. I, meanwhile, tied as I was, made charming conversation with the 3 lovely lady mercs...they did not aid me, but they were nice to me too. I had to log for rl or I would have waited my full 30 minutes before I can legally tp out and end the rp....30 mins. no rp, I can just go.
So, when I "wake up" Wed. or Fri. (and this is one helluva busy week for me rl) I will be in that same spot. He has not written me any IM's, though he friended me when he captured me (not uncommon for convenience sake) and I plan to log in when I can, wait my 30, and then go home...unless something transpires with someone where I am. If he is on, he can come get me and try to find another buyer.
This is indeed dark, in a sense. There are many people who treat captives well in sl Gor, my own City among them! There are groups that torture and mutilate freely, though I do not allow any permanent damage in my rp limits and I disparage torture (and no sex rp of any kind...so forget rape rp at all). Point is, whatever happens, I will eventually make it back to Fina and give my report.
And decide what to do about this person. He may be better with the bow than I; I am still pretty weak, hard to say. I know he has a quick sword, but I am very strong with the melee weapons and could just call him out. Likely...I will get my chance one way or the other...
Grins.
Am I enjoying this? So far, yeah, it's been fun. He can call me "boy" all he wants and I can see quickly into his honorless heart as can others. And my City, well...if anything very bad happens to me....there are people there with less decorum than I. They already hate this guy. Best of luck to him. If I do catch him and down him again, I am rping a kill. That I know. Usually that means the victim can't log in for 24 hours; who knows what rule he keeps or will keep; actual kills not common. But I am going to axe-golf his fucking head to Odin once he is down in the bubble. Whatever rules that involves (often 30 whole minutes of rp first) I will find a way to keep.
Is all this going to change me as a person?
Another good question. When I first entered Gor I looked at it, in part, as my own Stanford Prison Experiment. Would I begin to treat the "property" differently? You know, I have not. I wink and charm and talk to them, and look out for them, as much as ever. Holding a vendetta in a cartoon world though? Who knows. Maybe tomorrow I won't even care.
What is most interesting to me is that I learned a valuable lesson: it was a well played ambush involving one very good bow fighter. I went too far from the City and was outnumbered. I went with a guy as backup who could not really back up. These are all things that are interesting to know. Last time, when he downed me in the mountains as we went my bow to his sword, I told my rescuers I was ashamed. They said, no, he had a fast sword, you should have drawn your spear first...the actual quote was "lesson in steel learned." Yesterday, I learned another, or more than one, and I have to admit the experienced guys are very careful going off like that. More likely, they'll take a City wall and snipe back, very much safely inside, or go out in good numbers.
"Lesson in steel learned." Part of me finds that quite cute.
I now realize I have done it again on this blog: created a small cliffhanger. Tele is bound in the sands of Aria...what will happen next? Heck, even I don't know. But I will try and update all when I am returned to full freedom. Again, 3 days maximum collar, got that from a lot of other people's rp limits...not sure how that plays out. At most, for me, that is log ins, on 3 seperate days, for whatever comfortable amount of time I have to play.
The thing is, captives are almost always traded back, or somehow word will reach my City and I will be traded. Everyone understands almost no one is going to allow a permanent collar unless they want one. This is, after all, second life; the point is for the rp to be fun.
Will let you know how all of it plays out.
Love to all.
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4 comments:
Like I said to you, even the toughest guys out there need their protector once in a while.
You're lucky you have a seasoned one to call your own.
But our First has also told me he is a killer, and that is a strong word for our First to use. He lured me and another warrior out a couple of weeks ago and this time he dropped me....we were using bows and he went into a small rocky area and drew his sword. I should have gone to spear, lesson learned. Bow against the high speed of the sword in a small area...but that time I had another with me (and then a third came) and he fled.
You know, this is starting to sound like a hell of a lot of fun, in places. I think I'd like to take a guy like that down a peg or two. (grins). The other Gorean baggage, eh, well, it's not really for me, but you seem to have found a middle ground with that, so I know it can be done.
Interesting comments on the Stanford Prison Experiment. I have read extensively on Milgram and Zambardo in the past and find the implications of those tests to be almost frightening. What lurks inside the repressed id of the participants? Allow me to pass on a RL anecdote that relates very strongly to your observations about Gorean sims:
You know of one of my outside-world hobbies (I was heading up to a convention for it when we spoke on the phone last?). I had constructed a SF themed game with an elaborate backstory: a group of 1950s style macho Galactic Space Cops were chasing an enemy force called the Vilssh -- they had arrived at a space stations seconds after they had slaughtered everyone aboard in a horrific manner, and had JUST left in some form of a portable teleportation device, which appeared to be still functioning, although it was sparking and short circuiting. Obviously, the clean-shaven, square jawed heroic types will follow, and the real life players did. At that point, I pulled the sheet off of the tableaux. They arrive in a giant village full of brightly colored innocent looking structures that are so cute and cuddly they would have given the Munchkins a run for their money. The inhabitants appear to be giant, anthropomorphic rabbits dressed in clothing and engaged in a myriad of pursuits, which seem puzzling but not immediately threatening.
The players look at me quizzically. I tell them.. "you get no explanation, you get no advice, you get nothing but the rules from me. This is where the teleportation device took you. You are now on your own."
The players waded in, unleashed their various forms of portable lethality and edged up to the bunny village.
Now, at this point I should tell you the bases of the bunny figures were all color coded (and set out by some helpful passers by, I had no idea what bunny did what). The colors represented functions-- red for greaters, gold for groomers, green for feeders, black for talkers, silver (only 2 of them) for mutants. The rabbitoids had evolved from a critter similar to their earthlike namesake, and were highly sociable, communicative species-- they just didn't speak galactic. So the groomers would attempt to "groom" the new rabbits (e.g., the spacemen), and it was interpreted as melee combat, with predictable results. The feeders would attempt to pass them food, which was interpreted as a missile weapon, with predictable results. the greeters would do this little dance of greeting, which was similarly misinterpreted. With predictable results. The TALKERS had limited ability for mental telepathy and could attempt to put imagery of peaceful things inside a target creatures' subconscious.. they, too, were misinterpreted(I simulated this with pictures on index cards, as they had no common language). Ironically, the ONLY TWO figures on the rabbit side who could have talked to the spacemen in clear speech (e.g., in Galactic) were killed by a grenade and Killabot-9, the spacemen's cranky but lovable assassin droid.
The game drew a huge crowd, and the players (all young males) participated exactly as you might expect-- piles and piles of dead bunnies, right and left. At one point, the youngest of them tugged my sleeve and asked.. "er, sir? Can we actually TALK TO the bunnies?"
I declared him the winner.
I was roundly criticized for running this event-- "it's not a game, it's a psychology test!" "This is nazi-like!" Milgram and Zimbardo were cited. The players, being young men, were happy to get their rabbit foot souveniers and slope off, laughing to themselves.. as for myself, I was awestruck at how thin a veneer civilization really is. :-D
In second life, we have this great buffer of assumed privacy that gives us a very decent "buffer" for our actions-- and certainly more freedom to expose the demons of the id than real life. I think that's why Gor is as popular as it is.
H.
H,
this is another amazing post. And I think your game astounding.
I remember in my gaming days, how some mild mannered types became the most aggressive: kill everybody types.
I want to post more on Gor, but on your game: the players were told they were space warriors; this led them to believe that they were entering combat or a hostile environment. When they encountered bunnies, they stayed in that rp and assumed the bunnies were harfmul.
Really, I think this was quite a brilliant experiment, and I share your view of the thin veneer beneath which the id lies...beneath our manners lies the animal mind, the animal self, that will kill over resources, de humanize the other in a snap...the clan bond and the accompanyint annihilation of the other.
Scary, and the source of much suffering, bigotry, prejudice, slavery and death. Oh, that includes war. And for me, it took me ten minutes of listening to Mitt R. on the radio at the convention before I could no longer stand the continuing politics of ethnocentricism and fear. Sorry to any I offended with that. But there it is.
I am getting to know more about you here on this blog H than I ever have in sl. Also telling for me at the moment. In Snow Crash, this is why Juanita, one of the original coders, rarely goes in world...avatar interaction, for her, inhibits intimacy.
Even if it is fun :)
Well, you are welcome to visit my Gor world anytime, but the funny thing is it is very hard to take most of the guys down a peg. These are gamers, in the video sense, who spend hours improving their fighting skills in world (and also, their strategy for larger action, as in the case of my captor).
It's kind of funny: but in the arena I am one of the best around; I beat the winner of last weekend's tourney over and over yesterday, with two kinds of swords. He, in return, is going to teach me the bow, or help me practice, because I am awful at it. But this is what makes sl Gor intriguing for me (and potentially, maybe, silly if I reflect on the keyboard combat nature of it all): it takes real practice and skill. You can't go up levels and get tougher. You can't fake your way through a fight. You have to have the game. And then we all pretend in the rp that skill in the virtual world is worthy of the same kind of respect courage and combat skill should earn in the real world.
Oh, but I am digressing.
Safe to say, to all, I was freed immediately by the nice lady mercs when I rezzed in Wed., made my way home, none the worse for wear.
And spent too much time in world that day! I am getting sucked in in a way I have not had happen since my early days, axe fighting with Brutis.
Hmmmm....I want to keep my rl life vibrant, my physical health good; I have a busy rl to begin with. The hobby of sl Gor can crunch out other important things, like exercise! It's fun and helps with the loneliness of being left home alone, but oh it can be over hypnotic.
I will have to strike a balance, as I have in the past with other rp, or cut it. Hoping for the balance.
Love, Brother...
t
the players were told they were space warriors; this led them to believe that they were entering combat or a hostile environment. When they encountered bunnies, they stayed in that rp and assumed the bunnies were harfmul.
And, oddly enough, it wasn't about killing funny little bunnies. It was about how a field commander would react in a situation entirely outside his or her experience, with little or not data except the knowledge and prejudice brought onto the battlefield with them.
Take away the bunnies and their sugary-sweet egg shaped huts, and transpose them with Afghan Villagers. Take away Space Marines, and substitute a gang of Reservist infantrymen on patrol in the Kandahar Valley. Take away the Vilssh, substitute Taliban Fighters.
How does my silly little game look now, hmmm?
REAL commanders face ethical questions every day of the week. I just got an email from a friend of mine last week, that was eerily similar to this very situation. Fortunately, he is a great and good man with a strong ethical center and he managed to ride heard on his troops, who arrived at a village in a foul mood, after dodging gunfire in a convoy for ten miles. Imagine one of my gaming kids in this situation? Makes you think, eh?
Really, I think this was quite a brilliant experiment, and I share your view of the thin veneer beneath which the id lies...beneath our manners lies the animal mind, the animal self, that will kill over resources, de humanize the other in a snap...the clan bond and the accompanyint annihilation of the other.
There is a quotation my father used to use on me, I always thought it was in Genesis but I can't seem find it now.. So I'll paraphrase.
"I have given the Man dominion over the Earth, the birds that fly and the beasts that walk, and the fish that swim in the deep. Now let us see what the Man will do".
My little bunny game (and in many respects, certain Gorean sims in SL) was, in effect, seeing what the Man would do.
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