Fantastic posts below, H. As I said, I have seen more of your mind in a few blog posts than I ever got in world. Love it.
On the Gorean front: I was released, as I say below, by the lady mercs as soon as I rezzed and headed home. My wife and son were out of town all last weekend...well, the weekend before, and made for some overlong game time, I must admit. I find I hold my own well with the melee weapons, pretty marginal with the bow (these guys, at this level, are mostly gamers who play things I've never heard of like navy seal socom or whatever...many of the shooter games are a lot like the bow in world).
So, mostly been fun, no combat since my last capture for me anyway.
Funniest of all, the First Sword called me in to talk to me...he wanted to promote me to Lt. There is only one other Lt. I know in the City. I told him every reason I would be weak in the role, including my genuine committment to first life. He said there might be a job with less committment I could have, master at arms or something, but in the end, he said he wants me as a Lt.
I am of course very honored, and we are trying it on a trial basis. But before anyone gets too happy, remember some of these guys are just college kids...so of course the fact that I have manners and am generally reasonable and don't have an ass of a temper....well, I have age on them. I have run into one other person there who shares my career....which I don't really want to out more than I already have. He holds a sort of state rank. I think the First likes me cause I am easy to get along with, avoid drama (so far) and do well in the Arena.
What does this all mean? Not much, now that I am sitting in the glow (can one sit in glow) of winning a very long political battle, years long, at work. My motion, finally, was understood and passed. There are at least two other giant battles staring me in the face....but they will unfold over this year; one affects me very directly, the other less so in the short term. So, right now, I'm quite in the real life.
And that's all I have to say: I told the First I could be in world 4 - 6 hours a week....a couple of hours a day when I'm working from home alone really does seem like all I can manage. I don't go in world at all when my wife or son is home, hence I am never on most weekends or evenings. He told me: I think you spend a lot more time here than that. And the last few weeks....he is right. But that's how much time I WANT to spend in world. I love the things one can do there, the fantasy, the living in my own historical novel (for so sl Gor feels) sort of thing; but hey man, sailing, eating, drinking, time with family, the world of nature, reading and writing (two things tragically neglected, beyond what I must do for work, since I found sl) these things matter! More than the keyboard combat, fun as it may be.
Balance....I look for it.
Love to all.
Tele
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Further Reflections from Tele Abroad
My love to all who read what was below. I have to give the update, though...as though I have no counter I know friends who do read here.
I had a great talk in world with Dia, and she identified what I was feeling more than anyone: loss. Hurt and anger over the loss of trust in someone I truly cared for. That conversation felt pretty much guardian angel...excellent and well timed.
But to share how the story played out: Vof (the very old friend), after I logged, went back and told the Ubar what he had done. The Ubar had no issue with it, thought it was funny. The white silk girl told me herself she was not offended and was sad he was gone (only worried about getting in trouble). I failed to note one of her groups was Pervs of Gor or Pervs of Sl or something like that...ah, the naive soul that I am. Anyway, she thought Vorfwas quite entertaining. So, no harm done.
And best of all, he wrote to me and apologized for his tone...he did say I need to lighten up, especially when it comes to the bondmaids, and he is right, actually. My values are not shared by all in second life and certainly not all in Gor. I still have much of Caledon in me...But Vof gave a very genuine apology...told me he was "about fifteen beers into a twenty pack," and also getting sick...and I know his rl is very hard right now. It was an apology accepted.
Do I feel completely better? No. But I have to say, I have interacted with this man in voice and in world dozens and dozens of times. I have seen him in many situations, and he has never ever hurt or let me down. So, one out of dozens, and my own self overacting too...both our tempers flared. Right now, things feel pretty good. I consider him Family, long have, hope that I always can.
On the rp note: I was captured in a very well planned raid by a man my City hates; an outlaw, and an ass who comes to collar our women. No man who knows him from my City would disagree with that assessment. There is more history, bad history, with him there than I know. I met him, the first time, when I and another bowman dropped him outside of another City we were defending. I disarmed him, fully legal in the rp, and he was not impressive: "oh yeah, I don't think so..." in short, an ass. When he recovered I just let him run off; I had no intention of capturing him. But our First has also told me he is a killer, and that is a strong word for our First to use. He lured me and another warrior out a couple of weeks ago and this time he dropped me....we were using bows and he went into a small rocky area and drew his sword. I should have gone to spear, lesson learned. Bow against the high speed of the sword in a small area...but that time I had another with me (and then a third came) and he fled.
Yesterday, the day I was captured, he showed up in our safezone (a place people can hang out where combat is not allowed) and I began insulting him pretty much right away, compliments he returned. Then he tried to lure one of our new FW (just freed by her Master....it was very sweet) off into the woods; of course, she did not go, but you all know how protective I can be...I stood just outside the sz and waited. He walked into the wood and began firing; I gave chase with another, we lost him.
But he came back a few hours later, and with a very good plan. Many known outlaws entered our City and began wandering about, distracting warriors, etc. There is a great deal of fighting right now about the rp rules....outlaw groups maintain they cannot be known by their tags, etc., so we just let them walk about, unarmed of course, but still we knew it was a test of whether we would hold to stricter rules and allow them more freedom (rather than just cap them, as we say, on sight).
While I was standing in the gate entrance with another warrior my old buddy came back and began firing his bow at me; hit me with an arrow or two, and I ran out to give chase again, thinking I had backup. Oh, it was rash. The man who followed me is not part of our Red Caste and did not contribute much, but what happened was when I got out just a little ways from the City, two other outlaws, ones I had not met (but one who was very good with her bow) came at me. I made it all the way to within meters of our gate, on the bridge itself, before I went down. They got the other guy, who kind of stood there, and I think even a third who managed to crumple inside the gate itself and close it. Anyway, my nemesis returned, took my bow (but left my spear on me...odd) and bound me. It was legal rp, had to go. He told me he was going to sell me as a thrall, or slave. I have a 3 day cap on collars, and some pretty strict limits in my profile (lots of people do, actually) so I was not sure how things would go. It took him a long time to drag me across something like two Gorean continents, including tp's. I said nothing, though I did admit it was a good plan and well played. In IM, he seemed okay, actually. Though not very deep as a person, I thought. He was quite intent on getting me enslaved.
Anyway, he finally got me to some lady mercs someplace far off, and then tried to sell me. I admired their "lovely boots out of the corner of my eyes." In short, turned on what charm I could...and he bumbled like a fool. Told them I was from Fina...I had the armband on, and they said, and this was a nice moment, that there was no way they were going to buy a Warrior from Fina, that he had best return me to my City for some kind of barter or payment (the most common way these things sort out by far) and that they would not risk angering my City.
That was a proud moment. He kept trying, then blipped. Still not sure if he crashed or logged. I, meanwhile, tied as I was, made charming conversation with the 3 lovely lady mercs...they did not aid me, but they were nice to me too. I had to log for rl or I would have waited my full 30 minutes before I can legally tp out and end the rp....30 mins. no rp, I can just go.
So, when I "wake up" Wed. or Fri. (and this is one helluva busy week for me rl) I will be in that same spot. He has not written me any IM's, though he friended me when he captured me (not uncommon for convenience sake) and I plan to log in when I can, wait my 30, and then go home...unless something transpires with someone where I am. If he is on, he can come get me and try to find another buyer.
This is indeed dark, in a sense. There are many people who treat captives well in sl Gor, my own City among them! There are groups that torture and mutilate freely, though I do not allow any permanent damage in my rp limits and I disparage torture (and no sex rp of any kind...so forget rape rp at all). Point is, whatever happens, I will eventually make it back to Fina and give my report.
And decide what to do about this person. He may be better with the bow than I; I am still pretty weak, hard to say. I know he has a quick sword, but I am very strong with the melee weapons and could just call him out. Likely...I will get my chance one way or the other...
Grins.
Am I enjoying this? So far, yeah, it's been fun. He can call me "boy" all he wants and I can see quickly into his honorless heart as can others. And my City, well...if anything very bad happens to me....there are people there with less decorum than I. They already hate this guy. Best of luck to him. If I do catch him and down him again, I am rping a kill. That I know. Usually that means the victim can't log in for 24 hours; who knows what rule he keeps or will keep; actual kills not common. But I am going to axe-golf his fucking head to Odin once he is down in the bubble. Whatever rules that involves (often 30 whole minutes of rp first) I will find a way to keep.
Is all this going to change me as a person?
Another good question. When I first entered Gor I looked at it, in part, as my own Stanford Prison Experiment. Would I begin to treat the "property" differently? You know, I have not. I wink and charm and talk to them, and look out for them, as much as ever. Holding a vendetta in a cartoon world though? Who knows. Maybe tomorrow I won't even care.
What is most interesting to me is that I learned a valuable lesson: it was a well played ambush involving one very good bow fighter. I went too far from the City and was outnumbered. I went with a guy as backup who could not really back up. These are all things that are interesting to know. Last time, when he downed me in the mountains as we went my bow to his sword, I told my rescuers I was ashamed. They said, no, he had a fast sword, you should have drawn your spear first...the actual quote was "lesson in steel learned." Yesterday, I learned another, or more than one, and I have to admit the experienced guys are very careful going off like that. More likely, they'll take a City wall and snipe back, very much safely inside, or go out in good numbers.
"Lesson in steel learned." Part of me finds that quite cute.
I now realize I have done it again on this blog: created a small cliffhanger. Tele is bound in the sands of Aria...what will happen next? Heck, even I don't know. But I will try and update all when I am returned to full freedom. Again, 3 days maximum collar, got that from a lot of other people's rp limits...not sure how that plays out. At most, for me, that is log ins, on 3 seperate days, for whatever comfortable amount of time I have to play.
The thing is, captives are almost always traded back, or somehow word will reach my City and I will be traded. Everyone understands almost no one is going to allow a permanent collar unless they want one. This is, after all, second life; the point is for the rp to be fun.
Will let you know how all of it plays out.
Love to all.
I had a great talk in world with Dia, and she identified what I was feeling more than anyone: loss. Hurt and anger over the loss of trust in someone I truly cared for. That conversation felt pretty much guardian angel...excellent and well timed.
But to share how the story played out: Vof (the very old friend), after I logged, went back and told the Ubar what he had done. The Ubar had no issue with it, thought it was funny. The white silk girl told me herself she was not offended and was sad he was gone (only worried about getting in trouble). I failed to note one of her groups was Pervs of Gor or Pervs of Sl or something like that...ah, the naive soul that I am. Anyway, she thought Vorfwas quite entertaining. So, no harm done.
And best of all, he wrote to me and apologized for his tone...he did say I need to lighten up, especially when it comes to the bondmaids, and he is right, actually. My values are not shared by all in second life and certainly not all in Gor. I still have much of Caledon in me...But Vof gave a very genuine apology...told me he was "about fifteen beers into a twenty pack," and also getting sick...and I know his rl is very hard right now. It was an apology accepted.
Do I feel completely better? No. But I have to say, I have interacted with this man in voice and in world dozens and dozens of times. I have seen him in many situations, and he has never ever hurt or let me down. So, one out of dozens, and my own self overacting too...both our tempers flared. Right now, things feel pretty good. I consider him Family, long have, hope that I always can.
On the rp note: I was captured in a very well planned raid by a man my City hates; an outlaw, and an ass who comes to collar our women. No man who knows him from my City would disagree with that assessment. There is more history, bad history, with him there than I know. I met him, the first time, when I and another bowman dropped him outside of another City we were defending. I disarmed him, fully legal in the rp, and he was not impressive: "oh yeah, I don't think so..." in short, an ass. When he recovered I just let him run off; I had no intention of capturing him. But our First has also told me he is a killer, and that is a strong word for our First to use. He lured me and another warrior out a couple of weeks ago and this time he dropped me....we were using bows and he went into a small rocky area and drew his sword. I should have gone to spear, lesson learned. Bow against the high speed of the sword in a small area...but that time I had another with me (and then a third came) and he fled.
Yesterday, the day I was captured, he showed up in our safezone (a place people can hang out where combat is not allowed) and I began insulting him pretty much right away, compliments he returned. Then he tried to lure one of our new FW (just freed by her Master....it was very sweet) off into the woods; of course, she did not go, but you all know how protective I can be...I stood just outside the sz and waited. He walked into the wood and began firing; I gave chase with another, we lost him.
But he came back a few hours later, and with a very good plan. Many known outlaws entered our City and began wandering about, distracting warriors, etc. There is a great deal of fighting right now about the rp rules....outlaw groups maintain they cannot be known by their tags, etc., so we just let them walk about, unarmed of course, but still we knew it was a test of whether we would hold to stricter rules and allow them more freedom (rather than just cap them, as we say, on sight).
While I was standing in the gate entrance with another warrior my old buddy came back and began firing his bow at me; hit me with an arrow or two, and I ran out to give chase again, thinking I had backup. Oh, it was rash. The man who followed me is not part of our Red Caste and did not contribute much, but what happened was when I got out just a little ways from the City, two other outlaws, ones I had not met (but one who was very good with her bow) came at me. I made it all the way to within meters of our gate, on the bridge itself, before I went down. They got the other guy, who kind of stood there, and I think even a third who managed to crumple inside the gate itself and close it. Anyway, my nemesis returned, took my bow (but left my spear on me...odd) and bound me. It was legal rp, had to go. He told me he was going to sell me as a thrall, or slave. I have a 3 day cap on collars, and some pretty strict limits in my profile (lots of people do, actually) so I was not sure how things would go. It took him a long time to drag me across something like two Gorean continents, including tp's. I said nothing, though I did admit it was a good plan and well played. In IM, he seemed okay, actually. Though not very deep as a person, I thought. He was quite intent on getting me enslaved.
Anyway, he finally got me to some lady mercs someplace far off, and then tried to sell me. I admired their "lovely boots out of the corner of my eyes." In short, turned on what charm I could...and he bumbled like a fool. Told them I was from Fina...I had the armband on, and they said, and this was a nice moment, that there was no way they were going to buy a Warrior from Fina, that he had best return me to my City for some kind of barter or payment (the most common way these things sort out by far) and that they would not risk angering my City.
That was a proud moment. He kept trying, then blipped. Still not sure if he crashed or logged. I, meanwhile, tied as I was, made charming conversation with the 3 lovely lady mercs...they did not aid me, but they were nice to me too. I had to log for rl or I would have waited my full 30 minutes before I can legally tp out and end the rp....30 mins. no rp, I can just go.
So, when I "wake up" Wed. or Fri. (and this is one helluva busy week for me rl) I will be in that same spot. He has not written me any IM's, though he friended me when he captured me (not uncommon for convenience sake) and I plan to log in when I can, wait my 30, and then go home...unless something transpires with someone where I am. If he is on, he can come get me and try to find another buyer.
This is indeed dark, in a sense. There are many people who treat captives well in sl Gor, my own City among them! There are groups that torture and mutilate freely, though I do not allow any permanent damage in my rp limits and I disparage torture (and no sex rp of any kind...so forget rape rp at all). Point is, whatever happens, I will eventually make it back to Fina and give my report.
And decide what to do about this person. He may be better with the bow than I; I am still pretty weak, hard to say. I know he has a quick sword, but I am very strong with the melee weapons and could just call him out. Likely...I will get my chance one way or the other...
Grins.
Am I enjoying this? So far, yeah, it's been fun. He can call me "boy" all he wants and I can see quickly into his honorless heart as can others. And my City, well...if anything very bad happens to me....there are people there with less decorum than I. They already hate this guy. Best of luck to him. If I do catch him and down him again, I am rping a kill. That I know. Usually that means the victim can't log in for 24 hours; who knows what rule he keeps or will keep; actual kills not common. But I am going to axe-golf his fucking head to Odin once he is down in the bubble. Whatever rules that involves (often 30 whole minutes of rp first) I will find a way to keep.
Is all this going to change me as a person?
Another good question. When I first entered Gor I looked at it, in part, as my own Stanford Prison Experiment. Would I begin to treat the "property" differently? You know, I have not. I wink and charm and talk to them, and look out for them, as much as ever. Holding a vendetta in a cartoon world though? Who knows. Maybe tomorrow I won't even care.
What is most interesting to me is that I learned a valuable lesson: it was a well played ambush involving one very good bow fighter. I went too far from the City and was outnumbered. I went with a guy as backup who could not really back up. These are all things that are interesting to know. Last time, when he downed me in the mountains as we went my bow to his sword, I told my rescuers I was ashamed. They said, no, he had a fast sword, you should have drawn your spear first...the actual quote was "lesson in steel learned." Yesterday, I learned another, or more than one, and I have to admit the experienced guys are very careful going off like that. More likely, they'll take a City wall and snipe back, very much safely inside, or go out in good numbers.
"Lesson in steel learned." Part of me finds that quite cute.
I now realize I have done it again on this blog: created a small cliffhanger. Tele is bound in the sands of Aria...what will happen next? Heck, even I don't know. But I will try and update all when I am returned to full freedom. Again, 3 days maximum collar, got that from a lot of other people's rp limits...not sure how that plays out. At most, for me, that is log ins, on 3 seperate days, for whatever comfortable amount of time I have to play.
The thing is, captives are almost always traded back, or somehow word will reach my City and I will be traded. Everyone understands almost no one is going to allow a permanent collar unless they want one. This is, after all, second life; the point is for the rp to be fun.
Will let you know how all of it plays out.
Love to all.
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