The Winterfell Ferry...

I do not know how I was lucky enough to get a plot in Winterfell, right on the Sanctuary River. If that is not poetry and serendipity, I do not know what is.

Last night I googled our little continent and saw a reference to the Winterfell ferry. I had not heard of it. There was a link to one of the docks. My first Caledon home years ago was where the old Caledon ferry landed at the Cay. Now, riding that was grand! But though I have explored Wintefell some, there is much I have not seen of the continent, most of it really, and I was totally unprepared for twenty or so minutes on its waters.

If you have not ridden the ferry, you must. For one thing, it's not a ferry like I see in the States. It's a gondola that drives itself. The dragon rides and the canoes in Borderlands, great stuff. But turn your graphics card up and sit in the ferry boat and enjoy. Early on I sailed through the hull of an anchored tall ship; otherwise, all was perfect: the sights and sounds, the stone bridges overhead, the swooping birds...it is hard to describe. And it goes right past my house, down the Sanctuary River!

I would think that if world leaders would take that trip together once a week, we'd have less war :)

I look forward to more adventures in the gorgeous new landscape. Sincere thanks to Princess Selena and whoever vouched for me (well, politician that I am, I did drop Loch Avie's name). I am very glad to be here!

Tele

And Again, Back to the Grid

It is spring break, and the last three days, for the first time in years, I've been bouncing around second life. My second night in I ran into my dear sl sister, Kalia, and last time I was in, last fall maybe, I got a new skin and shape with her and her partner putting my new bod together like Doctors Frankenstein. I was, finally, ReTele'd and at no cost. Last night, a friend and fashion expert of hers took me shopping and I got good hair, good clothes (although contemporary "earth" clothes) and look better than I ever have. My prior skin was a free gift from Tharkis in early 07, and I wore it proudly for years. Now, as K's friend said, "welcome to 2015."

There have been other times in the last five years I've peeked in world and seen no one I know, wandered without any contact. But the last two nights have been good. I chatted with Viderian from Caledon, one of my oldest and most trusted friends, saw Kalia, and even IM'd my GE Gor father, whom I plan to meet soon (the fact that I have no updated Gorean clothes and that I can hardly use my new weapons is slowing me down a bit; I will have to work my weapons issues in to the rp; I'm thinking, my arms are powerfully but temporarily weakened by an injection forced on me by forest girls, etc.)

 What are my impressions after being away so long?

For one, my laptop, state of the art five years ago, is not all it should be, especially for combat. But my gosh, SL looks amazing. The avs, the clothes, the builds, the water, the sky, everything. It is so kicked up. And mesh, WOW. That was a brilliant invention. Maybe the biggest change I've seen in SL since Dec. 06 when I created my avatar.Since windlight anyway.

I am hoping to truly come back (when I have time). I want a house, someplace, and don't know where. That will depend on my rp. Caledon seems very different, but I've only been there a little. It still looks incredible, better than ever. GE Gor is all over the place, with guys I knew from the hardcore BTB days now active in GE. I have one friend living in a wonderful little historical sim, early 1400's England. Another is off doing Viking rp, and I must visit. The complexity and intricacy of the builds, of the rp, has expanded as far as I can tell in multiple directions.

I just realized I'm writing this whole thing OOC. I am out of practice!

See you in world :)
Much love as always.

Rest in Peace, Edward Mayo...and Odysseus and Tele in Ithaca

Up late, unable to sleep while out of town, I went back in world, first time in a very long time, since the night I was at the Baron's, and chatted with a few old friends. It turns out one of my old comrades in arms has passed rl. Months ago.  A shock, that.

Edward was a good guy, never a moment of crazy shit. And in all that Gorean rp, there was plenty of craziness, a few friends who proved to be other than I imagined (then again, we're all avatars role playing) but Ed. from my Zamora days mostly, was one of the good ones. Others treated me fair at all times over the years, like Jake and Bohica (even if we disagreed, which was rare, they both were very professional), but Ed was just plain cool. My heart goes out to whomever he left behind, and may he have found a life more real than what we call RL now.

That's it. It took me a half hour to remember how to log into this blog. My rl is busier than it has EVER been, exciting and positive for the most part, but very consuming.

On another note: I have parked my avi in my SL father's sim, the one I have never met. It says something, to come into SL more than six years ago and name my avi Telemachus, one who seeks the father. I saw myself as beginning a long adventure, one that would have many facets, and I hence thought of myself as "young" with much ahead. I surely had adventures: more diverse and vivid than I could have dreamed, and made a number of solid friends, a very few of those have bled into my rl virtual world, via "social media," and I think that is wonderful.

But I spent most of my time in sl working hard, trying to help. That may sound ridiculous, but it is true. I treated guard duty on the gate at Fina or Sais like a real job, hah. And so when I left the BTB Gor and came to Ghost (pluses and minuses with such a change) I was happy to accept a friend's offer of motherhood...a chance to sort of be a kid (though full grown); and Odo, my SL father...based on the IM interactions I have had with him and on what many have said, is an amazing man. I am hanging around in the tavern at his sim hoping to catch him; it is one step closer. I think I must have been born, oh, two years ago? But I have never met him face to face or rp'd. It will be fun, I am sure. It is too bad I like the time/skill to be active there. Still, he and I will meet. I have simply not been in world and so it has never happened. When we do end up in world at the same time, he will be busy as hell I know.

And who knows...maybe he will mentor me in a new way and I'll start the pew pew (shoot em up) of the old days...I don't know. Maybe he'll grant me asylum and I can just lay around and drink in the tavern. In the GE sims, I doubt it thought. You fight or nothing. Again, hard to do without a gaming machine...even the right mouse and keyboard, as I think my laptop might run the codes fast enough...not sure anymore. I made a friend there named Ret who gave me updated skin, clothes, etc., and it took two hours just to get dressed...all the mesh, clicking "Add," whatever, it was freaking hilarious. I think I drew a crowd as I played uber noob. I STILL don't look like an updated version of old Tele. Ret gave me nice stuff, and I am grateful, but I look like Clark Kent in a freaking quilted coat. I need to find someone I can pay to ReTele me. It would be worth a lot. Probably my SL sister, when I think of it...though I don't know if she has the time. And I owe her 150 L for eyes, I remember. But I need new skin, hair, clothes, shape....but still look like somewhat the same person.

Well, it is past my bedtime. When I heard about Ed, I had to say something. And I hope to meet my SL father sometime in the next few weeks/months. As always, my love to all the rest. Even though they don't read this blog...hah.

Tele

One for the Baron

My last post from months ago was about how combat systems have changed. I have given up, for now anyway, the idea that I will ever be good at that again. I do want to find, meet, and rp with my sl "dad," and that may involve a raid or two, but I'll keep my blade out and  hope for lag like the old days if that happens.

I have been trying to go back in world time to time to visit. I have not been rezzing. And if the combat systems have developed, that is nothing compared to what has happened to the client. My god. It was worse than my first noob day. I am using Phoenix Firestorm which is at least something like the original client, but much is different.

Luckily, one of the times I was looking at myself as a puff of smoke and wondering what to do, my dear sl sister Kalia logged. She is a treasure. It turned out my hair (or something) was not rezzing....maybe it was outdated, and she gave me and entirely new "folder" whatever those are. Now, I am the current edition of noob, I think called Craig, something out of Snowcrash, but I can see myself. And she has agreed to fix me back into more of what I used to look like after another friend gave me an extreme makeover. The results were impressive, but it was not Tele.

And so, now that I have a corporis again, I went into world last night when I had a bit of free time (rare these days that I do). And I did not know anyone online, or the few I knew online were people I did not really know, in Gor or Caledon, save the Baron. Those from the Steamlands all know the Baron W.

And now a moment of history: when I first landed in SL more than five years ago, I was pointing and clicking on the open map at whim. That is how I found Torvaldsland. That is how I found Caledon. And when I first came to Victoria City, just a few days old, when Caledon was only 4 sims though already gorgeous, I met a girl there who was having her house built by a seven foot lizard; I think in the Moors but I am not sure. At least this is how I remember it. She had sparkles on her shoes which was quite innovative for the time (I apologize if I have told this story before; I cannot recall). I was entranced with the Moors immediately, with Vic City, and made a friend request which she rejected. I did not understand the friend thing yet; my first friend was, and remains, a woman I met on Orientation Island, someone who accepted my request right away. She was probably the only person I had tried to friend when the young Caledonian denied me. I did not understand her caution at the time. My intentions were certainly good.

It was an awkward start for me in the Realm of Roses. Later, when I was role playing in Caledon, living there, I asked about who she might have been and no one knew. I never saw her again. But even after her rejection, I kept landing in Vic City and flying around over houses, watching the sims develop. It was there that, flying over one particular house, I heard the words of a Scottish toast. I responded, and was invited in by a very friendly group: Hotspur, Lady Kate, someone else I forget, and Lady Eva before she had assumed her peerage. That group was so welcoming to me, so warm, that I never forgot it. The grid can be cold as hell when you know no one.

The rest is a story everyone who knows me knows: I lived in Gor, but kept visiting Caledon, and eventually a joint Caledon/Torvaldsland event led to me living in the Cay, serving the Duchess Loch Avie, all remarkable times.

And now back to last night (that was more than a moment of history I confess....Tele is five, very old for an av, and he wanders). The only name I knew on my fl who was online was the Baron W. He was at a poetry reading in Winterfell, and I asked if I could come. Of course, he said yes.

What a delightful group that was. I could not remember how to sit on a stool, how to move in and out of camera view...for a while I was actually trapped between the bar and a bar stool (not the first time....grins) and yet everyone was so very kind. I met, and saw, my first fae, or Petite. How superb her design! Even her supersized Tinkerbell AO...not remotely possible in the old days. The Baron and a member of his family demonstrated the new dance anims. He very kindly gave me landmarks for clothes (which I badly need once Kalia helps fix my face and shape) and landmarks to the many new sims which have sprung up since the old days. It was purely lovely. Oh, a cask of Skye whisky on the bar! Hah! I was home.

My sincere thanks to all who were at the poetry event last night and who let me, noobed out but still heavily armed and wearing a meter (which I was afraid to try and detach), attend; no one blinked an eye. Well, except for a very sweet mechanical girl, I believe the Baron called her a clockwork, who was not feeling well though I think it was not my presence that disturbed her. She said something very poetic about the wind injuring her.

I have taken hundreds of words to say what can be said with few: it is something indeed to come out of the cold night into a warm circle of persons, even avatarial persons.

I hope to be around a LITTLE bit. My RL is so consuming...I need a break time to time. And SL has less calories than single malt.

My love to all. Oh, I found the Duchess' new home with the Baron's help and am camped on the edge of her lawn. I left a note. I hope this is acceptable. I went to Cymru looking for Lord Vid; I miss him, and what a grand castle still, but all was empty.

Love to all. I hope to see my old friends in world time to time.

Nearly a Year

For the few old friends who I think (might) still read this: where else can I write about second life? Or for that matter, talk about it? Even my students think it's silly (bunch of WOW and COD addicts).

The long and short of it is as soon as school started last August, not long after my last post, I got very busy in rl. I was not in world at all. At all. I actually do not think I have seen my "mom" or "father" in Ghost since I was born. Mom sent me a note card of the birth! Nearly a year ago! This means I missed breastfeeding entirely. Tsk :)

I got a hold of her in world just a few days ago, the first time we had talked in months and months, in IM, and I found out she had split from my dad. Well, for second life, they were together awfully long. She does not really come into Ghost much these days. As I said, I have not met my father, only had a few good IM's; I like him, he actually reminds me of me. And if I thought the turnover in the Cities was extensive (it is) the outlaw camps seem worse. I have been in world a little this week (spring break between grading) and find all new faces in Ghost, a new sim (not unusual). That is fine, everyone has been cool, but here is the really hard part:

The fighting technologies, at least in the GE sims, have changed a shitload. I knew about "blocking;" mom (so funny to call her that; our friendship came from knowing an alt of hers) told me I had to learn that last summer, and I practiced just a little. But for me, blocking is new. When I left Sais last summer (and how much of that was over the bondmaid drama....good question) it was illegal in Sais. It is probably everywhere now, but I have to play with my fingers on totally different keys. Not the arrow keys, the freaking letter keys that I NEVER learned to move my avie around on. And then, you block with C. What the hell?

Now, I fought a guy who smoked me tonight without blocking at all, but then I was trying to block and moving like a dope, and I would have liked to have done that again without either of us blocking. But it would not matter. Blocks are all over Gor. You have to learn them.

And then this shocker: in the old days (like since forever) your bow fired automatically. You held down the mouse button, and worked on the timing and tracking (and I was never very good at bow anyway, but I got by fine). The arrows auto fired. Get this: not anymore. You have to aim and fire every single time. Every time. It's hard to explain how different that is. It was explained as, less chance to shoot your friends (not really I think) or the target changes direction (maybe) but I think the real issue is fps, frames per second. Arrows lag up those sims awfully. Less arrows flying around, less lag.

Now this may seem like the looniest, geekiest post I have ever put up here. Reading my last one, it at least had some thought! But the bottom line to all this is that while Tele has been good with melee (sword/spear) for years, really pretty good, and good enough with bow to get by (and in laggy raids, get close enough and it's all blade...the arrows hang suspended in air) he now SUCKS. I mean, a few Ghost guys who did not know me at all wanted to spar tonight in the sim. Of course. You always do that with new guys and I count as new (and the GE sims are pretty much all about sparring/raiding). So, I got my butt handed to me worse, with BOTH blade and bow, than I have since I was a noob on the sands in Torvaldsland with Brutis. We're talking, what, four or five years ago? And in that sim, you did not have to fight. In Ghost, you have to fight all the time. I mean, I might as well have been blindfolded with my feet tied together.

Oh, and I have a new laptop, different key placements. I did attach an external mouse.

What to make of all this? In a very rare three or so spare hours tonight, everyone in the house asleep, when I could just play online alone I had a lot of fun. The guys who were beating me to pieces were all very cool about it. I was trying just to not climb mountains with my back turned, etc., moving with the letter keys, while I got the crap beat out of me. One did say I had good spirit, which meant a lot.

But do I really want to learn all this over? I so do not have the time in rl. I could find a BTB City where blocks are illegal and autofire allowed, maybe, but like I said below, I've met too many, dozens and dozens, of female avatars in GE Gor who kick smoking ass in combat. I still find that fun as hell. And the non BTB sims are just more relaxed, more about silly fun. It's not even like I could go Blue Caste or something. Be a non combatant role player (would I even like that) cause in the GE sims, everybody fights. Nobody actually seems to hang around and run things unless there is a raid.

In short, this really may be the end of a personal era.

And Caledon is still lovely, were I to go there, but my friends have moved on. I am so out of tune with their stuff, and I hear the balls, etc., have all stopped (not that I made a lot of those, but a few). God, I remember the gowns, remember the dance cards, remember dancing outside in falling snow.

***
Real life has been very, very real the last couple of years, and it's about to get more real. All this is good. I'm in better physical health than when I gamed in sl every week (uh, every day sometimes). My career is moving in interesting directions. Good things at home. All the shit life is really all about. I know most of my sl friends know that. Many of them are not online much anymore either.

Anyhow, this was not a rant, it was a whine. A freaking whine. I cannot combat rp in Gor anymore without starting from the bottom and the skill set is larger than it used to be. I ran into an old timer tonight (actually, we capped him in our sim after he took down four of our people, including me) and before I let him go (why not) we chatted about the old days. He remembered the Berserker system! I mean, that's old school. That was Tharkis in Tland. He knew the system and had never heard of Tharkis. I remember learning on the Laura sword. Truth is, it was a pretty simple skill set compared to what it takes now. The technologies have evolved and there is no cool game controller to help. I do hear there are kicked up mouses that help. Maybe that is a thought.

Well, it's late, I'm sleepy, and I miss my old friends, a lot. I think a few of them may still see this...eventually. Those of you who showed character stand out the most to me, some in Caledon, some in Gor. But God I miss Vid, and H, and the Duchess, and Sera, and there are more than I can remember this late at night. Dia. I know I'm missing many. The days of the werewolf in Caledon. The days when Fina was the white city. There are simply people, like all those I listed, that I would give my house keys too (my rl house) and say, here, hang out for a week while I'm gone.

I got let down by a lot of people too, which is part of being around people I guess. And sl maybe makes it worse. But I have so many great memories. I really don't know if I'll make many more or not. Right now, I think I'll go peek back into the grid before I sleep!

Much love.

Oh, and I forgot. I "freed" the girl I collared after just a few weeks. The one from last summer. It was best for both of us. I am not sure I ever said that up here. I wish her the best wherever she is. She had pluck.

Tel

Outlaw Life, (Yet More) Thoughts Gor

Tele resigned Sais, his former city, and went looking for what is called a GE, Gorean Evolved, or NON BTB Gor. A friend recommended an outlaw sim, I found a very old and good friend there in an alt, and for now it looks like that is my rp life. Tele used to hate, despise Outlaws; now he is beginning to see the wisdom in it.

For one thing, the GE sims raid all day long. Almost too much, really, but still: raids and rescues, back and forth, every day. I like the extra fun. Also, they seem less serious so far about all things Gorean. There are many women fighters, even the slaves can wield a frying pan or blow dart or slingshot whenever they feel like it. These sims are about equality and fun.

The group I joined, Ghost, is huge. The raids I've been on so far have been massacres, Ghost moving in with huge numbers and taking everyone down by the numbers. I don't know if they keep fighter ratios in GE, hope so, but so far it has been easy. This is good for me as my 3.5 year old vid card lags pretty good in those massive combats.

Now, a few thoughts on Gor to wrap up: maybe I am repeating myself.

***

I respect those who want "BTB" or "By the Book" Gor. But a few things must be said. The Gorean books are a blend of John Carter romanticism (big he men and lovely ladies in distress) and bdsm. I know women and men who enjoy the Gorean fantasies in the novels. This is fine. I liked John Carter when I was a teenager myself. But the books are meant to be enjoyed. The problem with sl Gor is it results in a repressive chauvinism in my opinion, or can. The fact that slaves have no rights in the novels turns on submissive (and I guess dom) readers; the fact that slave role players in sl Gor have no rights, or can have no rights, is simply ridiculous. The entire female gender, objects of desire and willing submission in the novels, are often subjugated in SL Gor and that marginalization is defended as "by the books."

When I first joined SL Gor (all about playing in the Arena in those days) I wondered to myself: I am a living Stanford Prison Experiment. Will I change how I act towards the "slaves" in the rp? For a long time, for years, I don't think I did. Recently, very recently, I believe I began to. Only a little, but a little is enough. I think of Mrs. Auld in Frederick Douglass' Narrative...

The fact is the fantasies of the novels cannot be directly transposed into SL or RL on a sim wide scale without issues. As someone long ago said to me: the books are not about real feelings. I agree. They are far from psychologically realistic (raped women, hauled off in conquest, do not beg for more sex, etc.) So moving that fantasy into a world full of ACTUAL PEOPLE role playing through avatars is bound to have some complications. For me, the GE sims, at least so far, seem to work much better, are much less rigid, less formal...simply outside Gorean "law." And I love all the Emma Peel looking ass kicking women.

I never ever though I'd go outlaw, but here I go. When I have time that is! My career will pick up again soon and I will have little time.

Oh, someone asked to be my mother today in the GE rp, make me one of her twins or triplets or something. She said I can begin as a grown up with the entire back story I already have...I said cool :) Kind of an honor to bring me into Ghost with that much connection.

Love to all. I would spend more time writing about Gor but I don't think it would change a bloody thing. In the meantime, I hope everyone engages in rp that they find fun, constructive, enjoyable, not distressing or demeaning.

Love to all. We an surely use it.

Tele

There is Gor and then there is Gor...RANT

This blog, while open to anyone who knows my avatar's name, has always been written for an imaginary Caledonian audience. I was surprised to know the Duchess still reads it, and perhaps one or two others from the old days will stumble on it, but I find myself in the odd position of needing to share.

So I collared a girl. She was panther once, is half panther still, and carries a slingshot at all times. That sling is legal in my current city, but can only be used in very limited instances, like defending herself in the village during a raid, or defending me (which she did not do today when a mamba capped me at the docks, hah). Also, like some others, myself included, she has limits in her profile: no rape of any kind.

I had "owned" her about a week, had rp'd with her maybe once or twice in world, when I log in to a total mess. Some guy I don't know telling me my girl had been mouthy; she had to be punished. Yada yada. Then my girl shows up and tells me she has been raped with a whip handle. Yep. And she is white silk, meaning virgin (in her current rp). I found out the guy was a new citizen of my town; this complicated a lot.

I have no time to write this well, so fuckit.

Anyway, I asked the Magistrate what I could do: I could demand coin as payment for the damage to her. Now I've seen guys go off, overly so I thought, call other guys out when their girl was kicked once, or treated rudely, or slapped. In those cases, I get it. She is a slave in the rp. Sucks but this is cartoon rp. Not much you can do. But raping her without checking her limits first? And then some asshole who was with him demanded she be punished for mouthing off AFTER the rape. The rape happened so fast, one long paragraph, she did not have time to do anything.

Those who say one cannot have something done to them in SL they do not want done are wrong.

So, me, Mr. Protective, Protection being the CORE of my RP in world no matter where I am, I feel hamstrung by city law, by the rules of Gor, and I hardly know this girl. So I ask for the maximum "coin" (all rp only) and get it; I ask for an apology and seem to get it. But the fact is, this particular guy, and the city where I live now is "by the book." Meaning, rape happens to captives.

There are rules about that, and I have to admit I've talked to more than one "female" avatar (good luck with that one guys) who have told me they get off on the rape fantasy; they like that rp when it's done right. Okay, but there are plenty of people who rp in sl Gor who do not like it, who understand that the fantasies in the books, at least in the two quite marginal novels I read, depict both sides enjoying the forced sex; the women get turned on in spite of themselves, etc., or they care about the man. That is the bdsm piece of Gor. I do not find that appealing even in novel/fantasy, but some do....some seemingly pretty reasonable people do...

But apart from the rules, there are sadists roaming....those who are quite happy when just one side is enjoying the RP. And to you folks, let me say, FUCK YOU.

The guy was new to Gor; I tried to instruct him a bit, figured he made a mistake, explain things to him about the sophisticated nature of role play, about checking limits, about the nature of submission, etc. And then I am away another week and this happens:

My girl is fired on by a guard of the city for not stopping when she was told to stop (and maybe she mouthed off first, I don't know). Thing is, she fired back and downed the guy. Did I say she can smoke me with that slingshot when I have a bow? Yeah, that kind of girl. Now, in Gor, that can be cause for death. At the very least a severe whipping. She could be ejected from the village, etc. (No, it does not seem I picked an easy person for this kind of rp.) What happened was she was captured and caged, and then, according to her only, (the original Guy in Question denies he knew it was her when he said this, he pretty much denied remembering any of it) the guy who raped her said to the guy she capped..."make her your fucktoy...all you will have to do is pay the coin."

After the first rape I put it in her profile and mine: anyone who rapes this girl dies. A solemn oath which I mean to keep. So she informed the guy who was considering it, and he said, "that is too high a price." (I have no notecard of this btw). I confront the original rapist guy today, ask him, get mixed answers, make the mistake of getting pissed off in IM, OOC (oh, that cardinal sin in sl Gor, mixing ooc and ic, which is a good rule but in some ways silly, unrealistic, and sometimes used to justify some pretty asshole rp).

Now what?

Is this girl addicted to the drama? Maybe. One thing I do know is she is no slave at heart. She is all too ready to use that slingshot and down anyone she can. Well, maybe she is half slave. And you know what, I think that is fucking great. Funny. Her skill to apply as she wills when she needs to defend herself or her friends. But oh man, it does not go well in by the book Gor, not when the girl is a slave.

Is the guy who raped her demented and sick? Yep, I'm pretty sure. Funny thing is he thinks he is this cool enlightened karmic guy. I have not seen that in his rp at all.

And the hardest part of it all: I don't think I can continue in the village where I live or in any "by the book" sim. I have lived in others and never saw the kind of sexual coercion I see in my current village. And I don't mean between Master and slave, when people know each other and know what they are doing; I mean with the captives. Mostly I work with a lot of honorable and good people, but things get rougher here than anyplace else I've been in sl Gor and that roughness is tolerated.

And man, I am just there for the combat. For the defense of the city. For the brotherhood. For the Honor. For the bonding with Men. It is the total truth. I don't need or desire the dom/sub sex thing they do in the sims (though it's funny how many guys in sl Gor are actually chaste as I am; a lot more than I used to believe do not cyber). I just like the weapons and the warfare and the incredible excitement that brings. Try standing on a wall with arrows coming up so hard they are almost a solid sheet, holding a naked blade, waiting for the first guy to come up on the grapple line...that is what I do for a living in sl Gor.

I have to go. I have a real life too. Is all this drama even worth the energy? My rl takes enough. Four years I had no drama, saw friend after friend leave Gor because of drama, most of the guys I was close to are gone or retired from active rp. I never had an issue. Till now. Get a girl, get drama...

Sighs. Love to all.

Tele

Summer 11 and a Bit O Grid

I have not been active, really active, in sl for almost two years. I've popped in to say hello to old friends, to rp a bit when I can, but my rl has become quite demanding. This summer I should have time to play just a bit, but it will never be like the old days. Most of me thinks that is good and healthy; there were weeks in summer three and four years ago when I spent 20 hours in SL. All I did was housework and second life.

Since then I've moved out of the woods, closer to people, my job, my friends, and my rl has consistently felt enriched over the last year. Second life really is that: a dim second to the real thing.

Still, as always, the things I like to do in sl (rp combat mostly), silly as that sounds, I can't do in first life. Combat is only fun in a cartoon world, clearly. So, to balance out the pressures I have been under this academic year, and they have been extensive, sl can function as a bit of silly fun time which takes my head out of my responsibilities.

But there is something else I want to record here (in case anyone ever reads it): I collared a girl. Everyone who knows me knows I roll play chaste (and ooc chaste). I don't cyber, and I do not want a girlfriend in sl. My rl wife is enough. Why commit energy to a virtual rp relationship when my marriage takes all I have? That and I know an online romance on my part would break her heart.

Fair enough. My boundaries have always been respected in sl Gor, even when I have been captured and hauled off, even by the panther tribes. Mostly as an outgrowth of these values, and because I leave sl for long periods, I have never "owned" a bondmaid though such a thing is common in sl Gor (what is also common, much more than I realized, is guys who don't cyber their slaves or anybody else; many are chaste in sl Gor). I realize the idea of owning a person is repulsive and rightly so. But that is not what is going in in the consensual role play of sl Gor.

Anyhow, I girl considered a friend was abandoned by her "Master" as he left the grid (at least in the avatar). She was captured by an enemy city not long after and stayed there for a while until she decided she hated it and wanted to come back to Sais. She escaped but needed a Warrior's collar on her; the village girls have a harder life, less status; they generally bounce around trying to find someone who will collar them. I told her my boundaries: no sex, no romance; she says she's fine with that, and now she wears "my" collar. Did I mention she is a highly skilled bow fighter, perhaps one of the best, (my weakest area) and is willing to train me? Hah. Tele will always be Tele. Our relationship is built on friendship, trust, and my need for bow training.

I admit I don't know her that well, but I can end the arrangement any time I wish and I told her she has the same options. With plenty of ooc conversation I think the thing has a chance to be fun in world. I have long wanted a Y.T. to my Hiro; perhaps this will be that...if not, that is fine too.

See you on the walls of my City :)

Returning, Very Part Time

Somehow, while searching for a Latin phrase, an old comrade in arms found this site and Jake read my post below. He wondered if I was being unflattering, and reading it again, I can see I left some details out. But I never intended it that way. I thought that whole even on the pirate dock was hilarious and good rp. The only thing I think we should have done was burnt Port Victoria to the ground later that week, but then I only suggested that once and there was some issues with bans, etc. As always, Jake has my friendship and respect and this serves as a public apology for anything I left out below.

This winter break I've been back in world just a bit and having fun. Sais, where I rp now, is a very active Gorean city, and there is good rp there. They raid and are raided enough to keep me busy. Bohica, the leader or Ubar, is active in the Village and goes on many raids himself. I love that; like Maddog in the old days, he fights well and often. It's "by the book" Gorean, so no women fighters are allowed save panthers; I've never felt an issue with women outlaws, etc., but in some ways that restriction deepens the rp even as it restricts avatars.

Anyway, I wish Jake and all my friends form the old Fina days the best. Right now, Sais works for me. Love to all.

Oh, I've long since removed all my "protected" list. It has no value in rp; also, I am trying to be careful with my personal relationships (even more careful) and those who need my help know how to get it. I remain in the Court of Skye, of course, but that is different.

Tele

Cry Invalid, and the Heart Brother

I did not think anyone read these posts, especially now. But I found out at least one person does, and so I plod on with my usual eclectic reflections. I like to write here.

Invalid

SL Gor is not all it appears to be from the outside. It is a challenge to make any user-moderated competitive rp work, and when you add rp combat to the mix, and egos, it's harder still. Sims have to have "mods" who function like referees; if I think a rule is broken, I call the mod to settle it on site.

Considering none of this has anything to do with money, it is surprising how often the rp goes awry and one or both sides just call it quits. "Let's ban their group" and "invalid" are the two most common phrases in my experience. I think both are grossly overused. A couple of examples:

Near the end of my time in Fina, when most had left already, we had one guy who said he was a Torvaldslander, but was not very good at knowing what that was. He attacked one of the Red, or Warriors on duty, right in front of our gate. My man just managed to crawl inside the portcullis before I dropped it, at the edge of consciousness. Naturally, once I realized it was not a full raid but just one guy, I gave chase. Bryan joined me and one other, and we capped him not far into the Wood (capped means we hit him with arrows until he fell "unconsious" in his meter; you stay there for 5 minutes before you begin to wake up; usually, by then, you have been bound; that is capped and the meter does all of it).

We dragged him back and put him in a cell while I listened to him whine. Bryan had to log, so it was me and another guy, without an authority source, trying to figure out what to do. I went to interview one of the Free Women whom he might have attacked; she identified him as having tried, but was not injured. And then, a group standing around, the talk begins: he was here yesteday, we should ban his rp, he is griefing, etc.

I don't think attacking a man in front of a City is griefing or even bad rp; it's stupid, but it is actual rp. While all these ooc (out of character) issues were being discussed, I had Tas bring him out and tie him to a tree and I killed him with a dagger sacred to Odin. He rp'd that pretty well.

Death, by the way, in Gor rp is uncommon, even rare. For most, it means 24 RL hours of no Gorean rp. Some sims require you to prove a good reason for killing anyone to a mod. We did not have that rule, and I was sick of his whining. Likely, he went home and reset his meter and kept rolling.

But I think before we "ban anyone's rp" we should first find a way to take them out in the game (hah, I said game) and if necessary kill them. Make them not want to come back. Burn their town, etc.

Second example:

Two days ago I was upstairs in my small house in Zamora arranging furniture. I was in Edit Mode, moving things, when someone, a lone female pirate (I do give her credit for guts) snuck up behind me and capped me before I had time to get out of Edit and draw. Had I thought faster and not been so caught off guard, I might have beat her. As it was, I went down without hitting her once. I could have easily cried invalid, said I was in Edit, but since I had not set my meter to ooc or afk, which I can do, I figured it was my fault.

She was a funny little thing. She bound me, dragged me to a ship at our docks, and tp'd me to her pirate haven (though the wrong ship, the one around the corner from our official tp point: you can't just take a captive out of a sim anyplace, that would not be fair at all; all sims have official entry and exit points for raiders; she tried, got close, but was off by a bit).

Once I got there, it was actually fun. I have limits in my Picks as most do, and nobody was violating those (or me). I kept making fun of the First Mate's pirate hat; I mean, he was wearing a 3 corner hat and everyone was calling him First Mate..."I left a note, First Mate..." ; I thought that was hilarious in a Gorean sim. Since they had left a note, I IM'd on the Zamora chat and Jake himself showed up to get me. My abductor wanted to trade. Not anything real, of course, no lidens are ever allowed (well, we could trade an actual Linden, I suppose, but not the currency).

Then things went to shit. Jake and the First Mate guy got into some escalating insults, not helped by the fact that I was praying to Odin and threatening to burn the city to the ground with all my friends...the Mate like this idea so much he stuffed a map into my mouth so I could find my way back (if Jake did not want to go back, the raid would already be). So the Mate draws, Jake draws, and Jake would have had him with sword alone but the Mate draws his bow, one or two others are firing too, and Jake goes down.

The insults continue, quite normal one would think for the situation; it's amazing how many people want meek prisoners (I was long gagged by now, and going "mmmm....mmmm...mmm.....mmmm" all the time). Then, just when some twisted torture freak showed up to inject Jake with something (and oh they wanted to kill him in some awful way) the First Mate decides to kick us out. Forget their whiny asses, whatever he said I forget. Just go home; it's over, etc. How lame is that? Jake was insulting him for using a bow in a fight that began with swords and hiding behind the bow of his woman, all seemed pretty fair insults to me. But 3 corner Matie called it invalid an sent us home saying he's ban our whole group! hah! He did say I could come back to settle my personal score, but truthfully, nothing was done to me that was out of normal rp; I am not angry, except for the fact they kicked us out just when it was rolling.

What if they had not? What if they had killed Jake? It would have been up to him, but I tell you this: we are formally allied with Rovere and Teletus, and those pirate docks would have first run red and then burned to the sea. First Mate thought this was funny when I told him it would be. I am sure the pirates who abducted Julius Ceasar for ransom thought he was funny till he came back, after ransom, and crucified every one.

***

Now, for something completely diferent. I can only hope my gentle reader has gotten this far, navigating his or her way through reflections on Gor life. I don't think anyone I know in Gor reads this blog; I don't put it in my profile. I know it could be found in google (how many Telemachus Dean's are there) but I imagine my audience to be a handful of old Caledon friends, and I write here for them.

The Heart Brother

I often laugh when I am sitting at my keyboard, my avatar in world. Loud, and often. But the story I am about to tell is the funniest thing that has ever happened to me in world, or a top contender.

I do not mix rl and sl. Meaning, very, very few people in the grid know who I really am. Part of this is my job. I teach college, and, well, you get the idea. I would never want colleagues to know I fight in Gor, nor would I want students to set up avs and get in there and rp with me unawares. So, in all my time in sl, I have brought in only two rl friends, one a colleague, and finally, one a male student I trust from a lit. class; he is older, a good guy, and was having trouble navigating the grid as a noob, so I said I'd help.

I met him, first, on the bridge at Skye. I forgot how bad noobs can look. He could have been the dictionary noob, poster noob, made the list of worst dressed noobs. He looked horrible. I told him about skins and ao's and hair, but what he really wanted to do was learn to fight.

So I took him to a weapons store (he bought a pike which must have been twelve feet, running in the field, it would be like a giant flag to bowmen...shoot here) and we sparred for a while. He did fine, it is always a joy to teach new people weapons (or any people) and finally it got too late for me and I had to log. Tired as I was, I thought of the advice Nighteagle gave me when I was a noob to both Gor and sl; I still admire it: " use that Sword at your side, and guard your Heart."

When NE said that I was like, guard my heart from what? I thought he was crazy. And he said from the women, the bondmaids and the free women, the girls in here. I thought he was even more crazy. I'm married, bro, I told him.

I have honored my wife, I believe, my entire time in world. But NE was right. Feelings can run strong in the grid, of all kinds, and pass quickly through one in the rp; it's like electronic or cartoon method acting. So, trying to be a good mentor to my new in world friend, I wrote something like this:

"use that sword at your side, and guard your heart brother"

and he said

"what is that term, is it gorean?"

And I just could not figure this out. What term? What was he talking about?

So, being late at night for me, I cut to the chase

"for many, sl can be a very romantic place"

pause

"even a very sexual place"

long pause, longer

Then

"oh, oh, I get it, a comma thing: you meant guard your heart, brother"

My new in world friend, my male student from last semester, thought I was telling him to guard his heart brother, as in heart-brother. As if that were me. Then, when I began telling him sl could be a romantic place, even a sexual place, as he put it

"I thought, oohhh, shit!"

He thought I was hitting on him.

Now, that, to me, is awfully awfully funny, especially considering he had recently been my student. We sorted it out, I think, and I invited him back to Zamora anytime, but I have not seen him in world since, hah! He took my class with his wife to make it even more funny.

Love to all. Hope that last story brightened someone's day :)

Once More into the Grid, Once More into the Grid.....

If my post below was snarky, I apologize. I was writing about things I did not know from personal experience. Sometimes this blog shows the "human" side to Tele (now that is funny). In world, he works so hard at being an icon of virtue, a hard worker and loyal friend, at times he has to blow off steam here. This post is going to blow off some steam, ic and ooc, as they say.

First, I see that Hostpur is leaving SL for a time. This is very sad for me, even though I have not seen him in world months and months. And I am terrible at reading the blogs, though his remains perhaps the finest sl blog I know and I will miss it anyway. Change often hurts. I wish him and his unique genius the absolute best in his rl. And if he sees this, I will lend aid any way I can if asked in either world. I believe he knows this.

As many know, I took a long break from SL myself, about 9 months. That was driven mostly by a back injury exacerbated by sitting, but also by my own need to embrace rl and clear my grid-addled head. I tend to get pulled into things rather fully; one might say obsessively :) SL was no exception. Over my break I wrote, grew in my spiritual life, engaged in rl community. But also, during my long days working at home, I fought the old loneliness. I have a loving wife and son; I love when we are all sitting around the living room watching tv, eating ice cream, talking smack. But I work from home about half the time, my wife is now working full time, my son can drive himself and has a girlfriend...you see. The isolation of long days spent in my mountain home returned. After some thought, and after realizing talking to my little dog was not enough, after finding out I could kneel on a pillow in front of the computer for a little while (I do not play sl on the laptop; I can't fight from a mousepad) I took a peek back in.

What did I see?

Fina, the great city of white stone and the place I served for so long, had been rebuilt twice. Worse, when I showed up, it was stripped of half its prims. Mostly gone. It took me a little while to find out why; I actually heard the truth, or part of it, from a bondmaid when I was visiting an old friend in the North (sorry, we are in gor world now). Jake, the prior Admin and builder, had been booted. I was stunned. I came to Fina long ago looking for the home of Jake and another named Cornelius Tal. Jake took my application and swore me to the Stone. And Fina was just great. There were raids and I fought some, but mostly I worked that Gate. I got to be as good at telling who was lying, who was spying, who was legit, as any cop! Hah! You see we were a big and active City, and had visitors all the time. When I was on, they usually had to talk to me before they got in.

And as I have said before, I served there under legends, but a gradually decreasing legend base. I was unsure what to do about the Jake thing; there are always two sides to every story and I really do avoid drama so I did not know what had occured. But when Bryan left, that was it. I spoke to Jake, believed his sincerity and still do, and as I say in my prior post, went to Zamora.

Zamora is different, a small port town. When I got there maybe 3 weeks ago, it was by itself. Now, Jake has, amazingly, rebuilt the Counter Earth Continent, the CEC. We are 8 sims I think (used to be 23) but it is a good start, and with Teletus and Sais on our continent I am happy (Maddog and Bohica, officers from the white city days).

Oh, there is lots of water. I have an old Viking boat I am learning to sail but I am very bad at it. Twice I have gone, each time with a friend, and I am afraid I made each seasick as I spun and weaved around! Laughs. Still, sailing in Gor is new to me and I look forward to exploring by water.

This is the bright side. What about the venting I hinted at earlier? What else have I found in the grid?

One, I used to have very close friends, many. Some I still do have, and do still trust, but others have changed. Or my perspective has changed. It does not help, and I must apologize, that living in an rp sim, even a new one with not many people, constantly pulls me away from IM. So unless I am sitting in my house in Zamora, that IM I started or answered standing on the City wall or hanging out with my door open ends up interrupted by some rp need or other. Sometimes combat related, sometimes now. Oh, on that note, I have won my first couple of bow fights in the field; one against a panther elder. Grins.

Still, I feel like some of the personalities I encounter in the grid are changed. Old and new. Maybe I am more aware; we are, after all, living outside reality when we are in second life. Some are there to escape, as perhaps I myself am running from daytime isolation. I am not judging, just considering. And I will tell one story, for me a powerful event.

My dear (once) Ward (who is still very nice to me and whom I never see) was visiting me in Zamora. We were on a high tower when I saw a panther creep in from the swamps (panthers are women who live in the woods and make war on the cities, basically). I started chasing her; we had a fairly long bowfight with her winning a bit at range. When she got close though, since my only real bow training has been in close, she was soon down. I took her weapons, bound her hands and feet, and tied a rope to the bindings. Then dragged her over to where Sera could hear the rp.

It was the usual: growl, let me go, male, I am free, etc. I am never cruel in Gor. I have let many captives go (I am far from the only one who does that) and only keep them when there is some political reason (like trading for our own captives) or when I am told to, as with someone who has committed some criminal act. This girl was alone, had no tribe (very unusual) and softened her tone when (after making sure she was disarmed and had no poison needles in her hair) I cut her loose and fed her lunch. Her tone continued to soften, and soften, and I saw what was coming...an overture. I am used to refusing those, so I took her to my house, gave her a glass of wine, and asked about her story.

She had a long, long story, in prior avatars, even had known me a little before (if she told me the whole truth, don't know). She was someone who has been hurt a lot in sl. One sees this sometimes in the rp sims (including Caledon). And so I did a very rare thing with her: I asked her to cuddle. You know, just cuddle the avatars while we talked. I do not find this arousing or outside my comfort limits, but I don't do it with many people. Very few, in fact, over the years. She took a picture of us (without asking first) and wrote our names on it...joking because as a panther she is an enemy of the City and I am a Warrior of the City, etc. So far, okay. Then I had to go, or she did, we friended and I logged.

When I came back in later, she was outside the wall again, and fired on me; this was a bit odd. I thought I was alone, but suddenly Maddog's FC (partner) was beside me. I had not met her, did not know her though the name was familiar. She saw I was wounded, tended to my wound (with some very good rp) and before I knew she was with Maddog, Mad, crazy sonofabitcht that he is, had gone around the City side into the Wood itself though it was crawling with panthers and mercenaries. He was fighting the very panther I had met earlier, the one who fired on me and then him, to the south; his FC told me who she was with, where he was, and what he was doing. I was off the wall with drawn bow immediately.

When I got there, they were both almost down. She had Mad very low, only one hit away from dropping him. That would indeed be a rare event, very rare; Mad is a legend. She was also very low, and I hit her once or maybe twice and she was down from either myelf or Mad.

As soon as she hit the ground out it comes: gee thanks Tele I almost had him.

Do you realize the preposterous nature of that remark? A panther I have known for a few hours fires on a Commander in a City with a formal alliance to Zamora; the same Commander who was my Ubar in Fina long ago; he is my Steel Brother as we have sparred in the Arena; he is Jake's best friend. I was appalled. But she kept going, taunting Mad for how low she had him, berating me for helping him, saying how epic it would have been if she had downed Maddog. I told her, in IM, she was on her own now, good luck. Mad hauled her off to Teletus to collar her, I think.

I began to wonder; I peeked in her profile, and there in her Picks was the picture of us, published without my permission. I told her I was not sure how I felt about that in IM, and she reacted very strongly. Then, when Mad branded her (part of being collared; she knows this, and Mad plays for real, which she also knows) she sent me the text, said 'thanks' as if that were my fault; I said that's it we're done, and she pulled me off her fl two seconds before I got to it.

***

You know, that hurt me. I think I am in a place in the grid where I am trying to make new friends. Bryan, thankfully, has come to Zamora, but often the city is empty. Mercedes, my one real friend there, is in a different time zone and as busy in world as me. It may one day feel like Fina did; I am patient, but it does not feel that way yet.

So, is second life worth it? Will I get what I need there, what I want?

I don't know. I don't want to get sucked in as much as I was before (I cannot kneel that long, but I also find myself less 'sucked in' at the mental level). And there are some strange people there. People whose emotional real lives are subsidiary to the emotions generated in sl. It is strange to see that now. I want friends I can trust who are sane in both worlds. People like Eva (whom I probably see in world twice a year). I still trust people: Dia, Sera, Tasdron, Martini, Vid, etc. But none of those people are in Zamora. I trust Jake, but that man works harder in sl than a corporate lawyer in rl. Time will tell.

Thanks for letting me talk. I wanted to tell some cool adventure stories from Gor but just vented instead. Adventure and challenge is why I am there. It's not the books, or the slave rp; it's the Honor, Brotherhood, and Adventure. SL Gor is so full of adventure I cannot begin to describe it. I have a score of stories, cornered by panthers in the wood and talking my way out of it, being bound by outlaws and thrown in the river to drown (and rescued by Mad and Jake that time) , so many, many stories. Next time :)

Zamora, and O Caledon

I have taken a small residence in a modest port town called Zamora; yes, it is Gorean, run by Jake Molinaro, the Admin at Fina when I came to that amazing City when it was white stone, and someone I met in the Tland Arena when I was barely out of my noobage. It was hard to see Fina disintegrate, as it surely has, all the men I admired gone: Jake, Maddog, Jimmie, Bohica, and finally Bryan. It was that last loss which put me over the top. As I said to Bryan, it was once Camelot, and as he noted, that time is gone. I grieve, truly.

But I am optimistic about the rp in Zamora. I get to be around men like Jake and Maddog, actual legends, more than I did when in the crowd of Fina. And merc, Jake's girl, and I have hit it off; in some ways we are opposites, but she is such a dear person and very bright. So, for now, I have done what I could with my 50 prim allotment, continue to look for new art (long my passion in sl) and hope to sharpen my bow fighting skills. In Zamora, with panthers a plenty just over the wall, all too happy to plink at any guard, I will get the chance to practice bow. In Tland, as I may have said here before, we did not use the bow at all; we lived in that Arena, sparring round after round with sword, spear, or axe. But in the wide open world of combat rp Gor, well, the bow, with its ridiculously endless arrows, is very important. It is different, and I have my work cut out, but it is all good.

I remain connected to Skye, of course, though I am rarely there. I often wonder what has happened to Caledon, long my home (in Cay) and always a Vision I have supported. It has grown, much, though I know the Lindens did it irreparable damage when they limited the voids. This cost Caledon some of its dearest Peers, as all who know any god-damned thing admit. I am not around enough to know what occurs in Caledon now, but I will make one comment.

Speaking to a friend who is still in the Realm of Roses (and no, it's not the Duchess, nor anyone else my reader is guessing I am quite sure) I was told that Caledon's social calendar has devolved into "dj partys with tip jars." The days of the elegant hosted balls at the homes of Peers are gone. Is this true? If so, may I say the following:

Anyone trying to make money should get a job in rl. I do not mind those with businesses, expressing creativity in world, and covering tier. By no means. Many of my friends do. Nor am I saying dj's cannot be compensated. But for those who hold Position, especially, as I did in a sense in Caledon or at least Loch Avie, I find using Caledon as a money making venture repugnant. I never made a dime nor sought to. The money put up for the weapons system in the Loch (45 US dollars) came from the pockets of myself, Eva, and Hotspur. I sold my first land at a loss and gave away my Estate on the corner of Cay (to someone who did not do much with it, and has long relinquished it). The burden for those who are established in the Community is to provide for those who are not, to nurture role play and fun, to host and entertain and occupy time well, to act with true grace and style, and to do so without compensation much beyond costs, in my opinion.

From what I hear, and I avoid all politics when I can, similar issues brought down Fina. I do not know. I understand those paying for sims where others play for free deserve significant if not total help, but of course, in Caledon, that is not the case.

Who, when a person comes over to one's rl home, asks for payment for drinks or food? Pffft. Similar hospitality, work for the good of the community, should always be the rule in Caledon. It establishes a constructive, grateful, growing culture. Oh, Caledon lost much with Gabi and Eva. May those left, and those I do not know who now hold Duchies, remember them and learn.

Apologies

Tele wishes to apologize for his...colorful...language today at Oxbridge in response to the griefer. The majority of his anger was rp generated, but still. Special apologies to Miss Malaprop, probably the first person I ever spoke to in Caledon and always an honored presence.

I was surprised to see my Omicron software utterly fail. But then, it is nearly two years old and not updated...

One of those guns that puts the person in a bubble and shoves him across a sim or two might have been fun. Who knows :) Of course, the Vicerenne dismissed the individual with a wave of her paw once she arrived.

Actually, it was all pretty fun. A lot more action than typical for Caledon...chuckles.

Love to all.

Notice Posted on the Door at Skye

Lady Skye,

I have your note about someone "griefing" in your home. Needless to say, my sense of humor about such things is nonexistent. I do not know how to make such an announcement public nor how to get this information to the right person, but any Man responsible (barring those idiot Lindens and their usual mischief) must offer you an apology. God help him if I find him first. Any Woman who admits guilt but refuses an apology will be dealt with on a case by case basis...but that will not be pleasant either.

Telemachus Dean

Tentaive Steps

On Christmas break, my back doing just a bit better, I find myself tripping into sl for brief periods over the last couple of days. What have I found? The Duchess is moving to winterfell; sad tidings for Caledon indeed. Everyone tells me Caledon is no longer the same but I have yet to run into the conflicts I keep hearing about; then, I've hardly been back but for a couple of short chats. I did meet Mr. Sherlock Holmes. That was most grand.

And today I bipped back into Fina. It is as intersting as usual, with raiders raiding, a chance to spar a new guy (and smoke him, heh) with the new Finian sword, a weapon powerful enough that it may finally even out the ridiculous domination of the bow of endless arrows. I know Gor gets tons of bad press, but Fina at least has been nothing but fun for me with many chances to practice weapons in dynamic situations. Not just two guys in an arena, but open combat. My squeamishness regarding this seems to have left as I realize, after all, this is just a game.

What is thought of my long absence I am not sure. It was mostly back pain issues; secondarily, a need to clear my head of all sl and live my rl for a bit exclusively. If I do go back into the grid, it will be on a more part time basis....recreational user and all.

And that is about it. I have had a chance to say hi in IM to friends I haven't seen in months; that has been great. I don't think I quite have the rp down, in Caledon or Fina, but I'm doing okay. I may keep peeking in during my break; I may not, depends on my back really. Sitting kills my healing. And yes, I've been through a lot of assessment already: MRI, spinal injection...it doesn't seem to be my spine (I could have told them that) but a tendon injury more than two years old. It should have healed a year ago. Why hasn't it? Crouching at the sl computer for so many hours over that time...a likely culprit; at least, a theory I must respect.

I almost deleted this blog completely, guess I'm glad I didn't.

I made some lame comments to a post Desmond put up on Otenth's blog about whatever the latest drama is (I still don't really know). I think what Otenth and Des said was much more vital, but I would hate for Caledon to lose all its Victorian flavor. It used to be a very intelligent place, cultured, even..creative as hell. I hope that continues.

Love to all.

Tele

TS Donated to Des

Perhaps I should have been more patient and waited for it to sell, but I donated my land to Desmond...he can do whatever he wants with it. My guess is he'll put it on the open market. In times like these, have to take care of the Guvnah...

love to all.

Tele

Why I Am (Mostly) Leaving SL

Or at least taking a long break.....

First, I am amazed no one has made any offer at all for my land in the Cay.

Fact is, my lower back has had trouble for a couple of years and work requires me to sit enough already; spending (nearly all) my free time in SL has been bad for my back and body, and my back flared up very bad about two weeks ago, enough that I finally got an epidural injection of steroids into my spine to see if that helps. So far, too early to say, but I know sitting is not good. It all began with a sports related injury, but at my age (mid 40's now...unbelievably to me) it's easy to have more than one thing wrong with the back. I clearly do.

The combination of SL living and lower back injury has sent my fitness, long a thing I prized, into disarray. It seems like yesterday I was an athlete, and now I have to find something like walking to replace martial arts and weightlifting, or at least for the moment. No matter, I know crouching into the SL hunch, sitting in my chair for hours at a time, has been bad for my body and led to increased pain. So it goes. Mustard gas and roses.

I had a hell of a lot of fun in SL, but was never very good at, as my teenage son says, being a "recreational user." That may be the case now, if I come in for just a few hours a month, but mostly I'm realizing how much bloody time I spent there, removed from my body sensations and the emotional realities of living in RL. As my dear first friend, Lilikoi, put it when I told her I was taking a break: rl is the best life we really have....or something close to that. She is Euro....what a sweet person and one of many I miss already.

For I do have a few very good friends in SL, people I admire and trust, a few at least. And I do not mean to walk away from my committments to protect those I am sworn to protect in world, especially my Ward and the Duchess. It would not take me long to log in and set someone right on their accounts....

Ah, it has been fun to play soldier, Knight, protector, diplomat, lord, warrior...but it has all been nothing but play. It has helped the loneliness I have from working from home about half the time...long days in the mountains home by myself; losing SL there will be very hard. But I have to begin recuperating body and even soul, the latter just a bit.

For while some have suggested to me that SL is like this world, just consciousness residing in forms of pure energy, or that the people we are there are enhancements of our real selves, even those we would really like to be, I do not believe it. Tele was part of who I am, sure, and part of who I would like to be: all the things I list in the last paragraph. But it is much more important that I be the best real me I really can be, and SL has gotten in the way of that. It does not for everyone, and I surely spent too much time there; others have better abilities to balance than I do. But my relationship with my son, the ever evolving, growing, challenging relationship with my spouse, my need to continually find new parts of myself or realize new challenges...these things take a hell of a lot of energy. No experience in SL can compare to an hour on a real sailing ship, or cooking with my family, or even the hard challenges on my job.

Sighs.

I do not have time to go back and reread this or to pretty it up. This tells the tale enough. Tele is not being deleted; he will appear from time to time. But only as my back heals and my heart feels more engaged with the real world around me. God, I had fun. Did I ever! Especially in tournaments and group combats, in talking to friends, in making others feel "safe." I may still do a little of that here and there, but my RL is asking very much of me right now; work, home, parenting....each a full time job. And there my energy has to go.

What a long strange trip into the rabbit hole it has been. How marvelous...even if ill adapted to meshing with my rl. I will miss everyone very much; I already do. I'll try to catch folks from time to time, and I remain a part of the Fina Red and the Household of Loch Avie. But oh, how I will miss Lilikoi, Kalia, Eva, Hotspur, Bryanlion, Harald, Sera, Dia, Torvold...the list is very long. Wish me all well, and pray for me those of you that do; I surely need it. There is one critical difference: one cannot pray for an avatar...one can surely pray for his typist.

Love to all, sincerely. I am not closing this blog down either. Some things may appear here from time to time.

Tele's typist....

Will Take Any Reasonable Offer

Hello friends,

the two times I bought land in the Cay, and it has been a while, 10 L a s.m. was a good, even low, price. I saw many lots go for 12 and 14 a s.m. and more. I myself paid over 15 per s.m. for my first plot. Of course times change....

One of Sir Tele's maxims, out of gratitude for his place in the ORR, was to never make a dime in Caledon. Funny, but true. Nobelesse oblige, all that. Nothing wrong with business in world at all, but that was my position.

It seems land values, like those in real life, have dropped! Since I can't stay in world I am only draining money into tier and using up a nice parcel. Again, it's in the NE corner of Caledon Cay....4096, make an offer; suppose the parcel could be split but you'd have to talk to the Guv about that.

Sir T

Land for Sale in Caledon Cay

I am sad to announce this, and will have to follow up with more details later, but I am selling my home in Caledon Cay....4096, corner lot, a stream runs along half its border separating it from the land a bit....it opens to water on either side, lovely view of Carntaigh.

Looking at 10 L per square meter...a bit more than I paid, but I lost a bit on Octopus Gardens :). If that is too high, would consider lower. I must take a break from second life.

I'll explain that latter part soon, but not till TS sells. It's very, very sad for me. My Ward is well settled in Babbage, and my sister has long since moved out. No need to keep it if I am not even going to be in world much.

IM me if interested, or email at telemachusd@gmail.com

Sir Tele

A Brief Note

Fantastic posts below, H. As I said, I have seen more of your mind in a few blog posts than I ever got in world. Love it.

On the Gorean front: I was released, as I say below, by the lady mercs as soon as I rezzed and headed home. My wife and son were out of town all last weekend...well, the weekend before, and made for some overlong game time, I must admit. I find I hold my own well with the melee weapons, pretty marginal with the bow (these guys, at this level, are mostly gamers who play things I've never heard of like navy seal socom or whatever...many of the shooter games are a lot like the bow in world).

So, mostly been fun, no combat since my last capture for me anyway.

Funniest of all, the First Sword called me in to talk to me...he wanted to promote me to Lt. There is only one other Lt. I know in the City. I told him every reason I would be weak in the role, including my genuine committment to first life. He said there might be a job with less committment I could have, master at arms or something, but in the end, he said he wants me as a Lt.

I am of course very honored, and we are trying it on a trial basis. But before anyone gets too happy, remember some of these guys are just college kids...so of course the fact that I have manners and am generally reasonable and don't have an ass of a temper....well, I have age on them. I have run into one other person there who shares my career....which I don't really want to out more than I already have. He holds a sort of state rank. I think the First likes me cause I am easy to get along with, avoid drama (so far) and do well in the Arena.

What does this all mean? Not much, now that I am sitting in the glow (can one sit in glow) of winning a very long political battle, years long, at work. My motion, finally, was understood and passed. There are at least two other giant battles staring me in the face....but they will unfold over this year; one affects me very directly, the other less so in the short term. So, right now, I'm quite in the real life.

And that's all I have to say: I told the First I could be in world 4 - 6 hours a week....a couple of hours a day when I'm working from home alone really does seem like all I can manage. I don't go in world at all when my wife or son is home, hence I am never on most weekends or evenings. He told me: I think you spend a lot more time here than that. And the last few weeks....he is right. But that's how much time I WANT to spend in world. I love the things one can do there, the fantasy, the living in my own historical novel (for so sl Gor feels) sort of thing; but hey man, sailing, eating, drinking, time with family, the world of nature, reading and writing (two things tragically neglected, beyond what I must do for work, since I found sl) these things matter! More than the keyboard combat, fun as it may be.

Balance....I look for it.

Love to all.

Tele